Movies have done a great job of spoiling our perspective about long-term relationships. The protagonists get married and they live happily ever after, but nothing can be farther from the truth than this idea of ‘happily ever after’ (I go yuck every time I hear it!)
Long-term relationships require
- work,
- and are not always pleasant.
Here are some harsh truths that every person who has had a successful relationship knows:
You will not always like the person you love
Nobody is perfect, and our loves sometimes say or do things that make us dislike them. It is human nature:
- Mothers love their children but sometimes dislike them,
- Happily, married couples love each other but would not like to be around their partner sometimes.
The problem occurs when we confuse our feelings of temporary dislike with a lack of love. At least that’s what I did! When I began to dislike a few things about my loved ones, I took that as a failure of the relationship and stooped putting effort thereon. But unfortunately, I was not insightful enough to practice emotional intelligence and seek to understand where the other person was coming from when they said or did the thing that made me dislike them. Because of a lack of effort, the closeness eventually faded away. It feels sad even today.
Not every relationship problem can be solved
In relationships, since you and your spouse will inevitably argue frequently, over both significant and minor issues, you become aware of the fact that not all arguments will end with a clear solution. And, if you find yourself encountering the same issue often with no apparent remedy, it may be one of those unfixable issues. Understanding the distinction between problems that can be solved and those that cannot is crucial.
The answer to dealing with your unsolvable problems lies in not trying to solve them. Yes, you read it right! All of your relationship problems cannot be solved and you just simply have to accept some things about your partner and likewise, they will do so for you.
Once you stop attempting to solve intractable issues, you’ll begin focusing on how to manage them until finally they cease to be issues.
You will not always want to have sex
Work, in this context, refers to the effort needed to foster enthusiasm. Life, let’s face it, happens. Stressful schedules frequently result in the loss of spontaneity. Sexual activity consequently becomes scheduled, predictable, and, dare I say it, less passionate. Whether you like it or not, your sexual life will change significantly.
In reality, couples need to make an effort to maintain their interest, loyalty, and availability. Why? Because a person might occasionally not be in the mood. It’s inevitable that body insecurities may get in the way. Naturally, various things will work for various people. The key takeaway is that maintaining a happy and healthy relationship requires open communication and prioritizing your sex life.
Differences are inevitable
No two people are ever perfectly similar. Despite how endearing they are, the other person thinks, feels, and believes differently from you. Successful relationships require a crucial component known as the capacity to respect the world of the other.
I understand that it can be difficult to accept that they are not an extension of you. However, it will be in your best interest to approach the connection with acceptance, openness, and empathy. A word of advice: Discover how to value and love those differences.
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I wrote a similar article a while back which you may check here:
Dark Truths of Long-Term Successful Marriages
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
