Guidance counselors help teens with a plethora of psychological and academic issues. Teenage boys are coping with many emotional challenges; some of them may have a mental illness, and others may be dealing with regular teen issues such as academic success or the ability to perform to the extent that their parents want them to. Many high school students may not even know who their guidance counselor is. One of the reasons that they would not look into this is that some simply assume that guidance counselors don’t help teens. With the release of “13 Reasons Why,” where – spoiler alert – the guidance counselor’s lack of empathy and understanding is another integral part of the reason the main character takes her own life, this could deter teens from seeking help. The protagonist in “13 Reasons Why” is a teenage girl, but in this article, we’ll focus on why teen boys are resistant to finding appropriate mental health services from their guidance counselor.
Who is the guidance counselor at my school?
As mentioned above, many adolescent boys don’t know the guidance counselor’s identity. If you’re unaware of the person that plays this role in your high school, much less if they exist or not, it’s likely you would not seek them out. In many schools, the guidance counselor’s primary purpose is to help teens succeed academically and get into college. Students may not see this person until the time comes to send in their college applications. In other schools, the academic support role may fall to someone other than the guidance counselor, so theoretically, a student could go their entire high school academic career without meeting the guidance counselor at all. Another role that the guidance counselor holds is providing a safe place to help teens with severe emotional and psychological issues. For example, if they are coming from an abusive home, there are many instances where guidance counselors can help them. Perhaps a teenage boy is struggling with dating and a romantic relationship; a guidance counselor can help in this area too. But in order for the guidance counselor to do their job, they have to know something about the students they’re working with. Part of this falls upon the guidance counselor to introduce themselves and how they can help, and the other part is teens being willing to seek that person out.
“I’m a dude – I don’t want anyone to know I need help.”
Many men undoubtedly think this; this statement also can apply to teenage boys. If they don’t want to seek help because they’re afraid, a guidance counselor can help them conquer this fear. Maybe they don’t want their peers to know they’re seeking mental health treatment. Peer pressure is hugely prevalent in the 21st century. Perhaps a teen says to his friends that he wants to see someone to talk about his abusive home environment. His friends might tell him not to do it. They may say that he can manage his stuff on his own and seeing someone is only what a wimp would do. His friends do this because of societal stigma, and they are unaware that they are not helping him. He may relent and not seek treatment because his friends are people he wants to impress. What happens next? Before things go too far, teens should be encouraged to see their guidance counselor if they’re in crisis.
Not just for college applications
One of the things that kind counselors do is help teens achieve academic success in high school. Students that are high achievers will generally see their guidance counselor more frequently than other students who are struggling academically. The exception to this is if counseling is required for academic probation. A teen who is on the verge of getting kicked out of school could see their guidance counselor frequently if they have no other option. In these sessions, the guidance counselor does not have to focus primarily on academics. They can take this opportunity to get to know their students, and if mentioned – they can share the importance of mental health. They may remind their student that this is a safe place for them to reveal their feelings, and if they are concerned about something, they can always tell their guidance counselor what is happening. Communication is crucial to guidance counseling.
Counselors – put yourself in your students’ shoes
Remember what it was like to be a teenager? It likely wasn’t easy. Were you bullied? Or maybe you had tremendous pressure from your parents to succeed. Maybe you experience both. Regardless of failing academically or being a rising star on the road to being valedictorian, the stress that teenage boys experience is higher than ever. It’s crucial to put yourself in the adolescent boy’s shoes (figuratively speaking), but if you understand where they’re coming from, you’re likely to be able to help them more. Empathy goes a long way, but you can’t be empathetic if you don’t know what’s going on.
Parents – talk to your teen boys
Some parents struggle to talk to their teenage boys because they don’t know how to relate to them. Their teens may be isolated because they want to develop an identity independent from their parents, and this is completely natural. It’s good to let them take the lead in developing their identity, but it doesn’t mean you can’t talk to your child at all. Even though they may not be saying anything explicitly, chances are that they do want your help. Remember, the guidance counselor at school is somebody else that your child can talk to you if they don’t feel comfortable talking to you. Not many people have memories of their guidance counselor being complacent or unhelpful. But if you are a parent that has had a good experience with your guidance counselor in the past, it might be worth it to share that with your child. They might be more apt to ask for help.
A safe space to change lives
A guidance counselor has the potential to change lives. The more we realize the powerful nature of this role, the better likelihood teens will get the help that they need. Whether they’re experiencing bullying, wanting to achieve academically, are struggling with an abusive home life, or other difficulties in their teen years, there are ways a guidance counselor can help change their lives for the better.
This is a featured post by site sponsor Better Help.