Have We Lost Our Grit?

Some say that the modern man is weak, taught not to bear hardship, pain or failure. That he will turn back at the slightest impediment to progress and therefore it’s easy for the rest of us to achieve the success that he hasn’t got the nuts to strive for. Simply stick to your plan, have the mental toughness to take a few knocks and keep going.

Young men in Western society do enjoy certain advantages, perhaps more than two or three generations ago. I’m not convinced that education is any better though and job opportunities seem neither as abundant nor as reliable. Marriage age goes up, house prices go up and young people stay with their parents for longer. I think we’re less likely to fend for ourselves – cooking, cleaning, DIY, fixing our own cars, gardening, growing our own food. I doubt many people even have a worm farm.

I know I’m old, or I wouldn’t be thinking about this at all. I used to laugh at my oldies for wittering on in the same vein. My parents thought that anyone born after the wars was automatically a bit feeble and useless. I’ve never been in the army, had to flee my home or been asked to sacrifice my possessions, food, energy or body to a war effort. They’ve probably got a point.

I think one of the biggest challenges faced by youngsters these days is finding a sense of place.

Where do they belong? How do they fit in? Where exactly IS home? How do they become men without rites of passage? What happened to formal roles in church or community, doing service for the greater good?

I was talking yesterday with a friend at a Christmas party, about her 22-year-old son growing up. He’s still feeling a bit lost, like he has something to prove to become a real man, but he doesn’t know what. Do young men feel the lack of an initiation ceremony, where their manhood is acknowledged and they are given adult status along with responsibilities for family, community and the welfare of others?

Social media and constant change of location, job, friends and so on must wear a bit thin. I love to travel, but I have somewhere to come home to. In the 90s when I moved to Australia from the UK, I decided to make Sydney my permanent home, just so I could make some good friends.

Well, that and the weather, the beaches and the endless summer barbeques. I wandered off a few times but always came back, to catch up with those friends.

It’s no coincidence that the art on my walls is aboriginal, paintings about country, belonging and family. I feel an affinity for the land that is hard to indulge in a big city, disconnected from the natural world that feeds my soul. I’m not a people person, I prefer animals, ocean and trees.

Is it just me?

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