MISBELIEVING WHAT YOU SEE
Do you think you know yourself? Do you know why you like what you do? Are you sure your critique of your make-up is really what you think?
It might surprise you, only an estimated 15% of people are truly self-aware.
DEFINING CAUSE WITHOUT KNOWING THE ROOT
I find it interesting when people describe to me what they like. They explain to me their desires. Some tell me their goals. A few confess secrets. I like to ask simple questions. It helps me know if people truly know themselves.
A simple example is, “Do you know exactly when you decided that was your favorite color?”
You would be surprised how many cannot pinpoint an exact moment of time. General responses are normal. Estimations seem to be common. I seldom encounter a person who says, “Yes. When I turned four, I was in my pajamas. During breakfast I chose red because I loved fruity pebbles! So, every time I see red, I think of that sudden pleasant rush of emotions associated with my childhood.”
In truth, few really know why they like or do anything. An astounding quote, from Dr. Tasha Eurich, said the following, “The least competent people are the most confident about their abilities and performance.”
WHO YOU LOOK AT IN THE MIRROR
Self-Awareness has a very simple definition. It’s not complex. Self-Awareness is defined in psychology as, “knowing who we are and how we’re seen”.
I think most of us suffer from validation issues. I did for a long time. What’s rich is most of the time this insecurity goes unnoticed. It did in me. This can even be true in outwardly confident people. I have been outwardly confident my entire life. If you would have asked me, at any point in my life, if I suffered from validation insecurity issues — I would have scoffed. I credit most of this ignorance to culture. Modern culture teaches us to crave validation.
Let’s walk through society’s toxic teachings by modeling my own life.
In adolescence I thought I only mattered if my football team won. I needed to achieve championship. I only mattered if I was recognized as the best. This error was reinforced through success. I was a two-time state champion football player. My reward for achieving external metrics, set by others, was overly positive reinforcement. Newspaper headlines, local TV interviews, online articles and phone book cover printing (Yes I’m old enough to have seen phone books).
The military continued this reinforcement. Medals, distinguished graduate achievement and performance metrics were my goals. I accomplished all of them. These were all accommodations given to me subject to external validation.
This continued professionally. It culminated with my writing. I became an International Best Seller for my publisher through my book “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. I than became the Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe. Again, an accommodation given to me subject to the external validation of another.
Are you noticing the trend?
Everything I measured myself by had to do with external validation. When I finally woke up to this it completely altered my self-awareness. I suffered from the same thing I am alleging most of my readers are probably suffering from too. Based on Dr. Eurich’s research, if you are reading this you have an 85% chance of suffering from lack of self-awareness too.
DON’T GET DEFENSIVE
It’s not your fault. Now that you know better, it’s time for you to do better. Take accountability for what happens going forward.
There’s no growth in denying the obvious.
Let’s face it. Most of us completely define our likes and dislikes based on the opinions of others. It begs the question, “If everyone is suffering from mimicry of another’s opinion — who is offering the source opinion?”
Now you’re thinking. There are an estimated 15% of people who are self-aware. These people are setting opinions. Now start pondering…what are we being shown in media? Why?
As the saying goes…follow the money. I won’t get into speculation. I’m just opening your eyes. Establish an opinion of your own for a change. Stop letting others tell you what to like and dislike. Decide for yourself.
IF YOU DON’T KNOW YOU IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER
I think the headliner of this section says it all. Until you become self-aware stop trying to be aware of another. Both of you are sheep with no Shepard. Stop opening your eyes wider in a room lit with no light.
Darkness does not lift because your eye lids lift higher. Turn on a light.
IN CLOSING
Sign up for free to listen free of charge to my chapter in “Many Paths To Profit” to read about how I look at things. My dynamic form of observing and reframing will help you to accomplish things like what we have discussed in today’s article. I have a free podcast called Hustle Kick as well which teaches you how to hustle for free.
You can pick up a copy of my international best-selling and award winning book, “I Made It Then I Didn’t” as well for a deeper insight on some of the psychology I use to take me through difficult circumstances.
Learn how to become self-aware. Read above. Do you really have your own opinions? Or are you just reciting the opinions of another? Let me know in the comments if you discovered an opinion which you thought was yours and really wasn’t. I discovered plenty.
To Your Knowledge Success!
Sources
1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”.
2) As Hyperlinked throughout the article.
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Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This is not formal counseling or a form of psychology. Please consult a licensed therapist or psychiatrist for psychological concerns. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only.
About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller, Award Winner of the December 2024 prestigious International Impact Book Awards — a premier award program dedicated to celebrating and recognizing the exceptional work of authors around the globe and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t”. He is also a Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.
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