Ding! You get a text from your significant other, “It’s over between us.” You are shocked and can’t believe it, you immediately call them to confirm if this is a prank, unfortunately, it’s true. You immediately start feeling blood rush in your spine, your eyes fill with tears and that is when you realize you can’t handle this. For closure, you intend to meet with him/her. They give you the explanation for their breakup, but you don’t internalize it. You believe that people split up due to infidelity, distance, poor communication, conflict, a lack of emotional intimacy, and other reasons, but your partner is not specific about their reasons for leaving you, leading you to assume that you are the problem here.
You immediately start doubting yourself. Am I poor in bed? Am I not that attractive? Did he find someone better than me? Do I satisfy her? Is it because I do not support him? Maybe I am not usually emotionally available for him, that is why. Thoughts like these cross your mind and decide to text them with the intention of a fresh start, talking things through, and maybe getting back together but they don’t reply. You even call but they don’t pick up. You die every second waiting for their reply. None of this totally makes sense.
A week later it hits you that it’s seriously over between the two of you. You start engaging in activities that make you occupied and escape reality. You even realize that you have no friends to open up to since you cut everyone off because of your supposedly “out of the world love story.” You can’t imagine how much you sacrificed for this person; you even lost meaningful friendships because of them but for them to stab you in the back. You even try getting a rebound to see if you will heal but this doesn’t work. You decide to go on a wild spree of getting yourself wasted but this doesn’t help. You cry yourself to sleep because there is no hope left in you.
Well, this is just a typical after-breakup story; many have been through this. Why not you? The sooner you realize that wasting yourself won’t help the better. Good news, here are a few things that may help you heal from a breakup:
- Allow yourself time to grieve and feel the emotions that come with the loss. Most of us ignore our feelings trying to escape reality but the ultimate cure to this is by allowing yourself to feel the emotions and grieve.
- Reach out to friends and family for support.
- Take care of yourself physically by exercising, eating well, and getting enough sleep.
- Engage in activities that make you feel good and bring you joy.
- Seek professional help if needed.
- Try to avoid contact with your ex, at least initially.
- Learn from the experience and try to grow from it.
- Remember that healing takes time, and be patient with yourself. Give yourself time. You’ll be fine. Everything gets better.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash