Yesterday was 11:11 — a portal — an opportunity for a new beginning. I spent the afternoon at Hermosa beach. I walked along the boardwalk. At 1:11, I took a selfie with the ocean in the background and an unintentional 11-second video of the ocean waves crashing against the shore.
From there, I drove to Beverly Hills to catch a screening of the documentary, “Heal.” On the way, I had the music blaring and was incredibly gratefully to be jamming to “California Love.” I was basking in the synchronicity while communicating with a friend watching “Californication” where the song “LA Woman” just played. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face, having just moved to the Los Angeles area from the Midwest — I was feeling like quite the LA Woman.
I arrived at the theater just as the movie started and Michael Bernard Beckwith appeared on screen. Only two weeks ago, I met with a fellow Southern California entrepreneur who studies and coaches on the intersection of religions. She introduced me to Michael’s teachings and we made plans to attend his spiritual center, Agape. He opened with a quote that resonated with me immediately. It was something close to this: “Tonic thoughts produce tonic results. Toxic thoughts produce toxic results.”
The first and most important thing I did to heal myself was change my thoughts.
The next thing that hit me in the movie was an observation made by author and researcher, Kelly Turner, PhD. Kelly is the author of “Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer Against all Odds.” In her research, and yearlong travel around the world, she talked with individuals who survived cancer without medical intervention (or after western medicine has failed), she found nine key factors that radical remission survivors use to heal their cancer.
While these factors include interventions that involve the body, mind, and spirit, I was not a bit surprised to hear that only two of the nine factors are physical. The other seven factors contributing to curing cancer are emotionally based.
This is consistent with what I’ve found in my own healing. Our minds are the most powerful tools we have. We can use them destructively or constructively. I’ve used mine both ways. The latter is much more fun.
In the film, Dr. Joe Dispenza described the process of healing his spinal column from a traumatic injury; with the precision of his brain, not a surgical knife.
The thing about emotional healing though…it’s messy. Literally. Our emotions show up as physical manifestations. Mine shows up as pain in my body, digestive disease, acne, excess weight, and hormonal imbalance.
There was a patient in the film who had boils on her body and face. It was triggered by stress, and like my physicians, hers could find no detectable disease. All the tests they performed came back “normal.”
When this patient started down the holistic path, the uncomfortable questions and answers of her past (a father who left, and a “crazy” mother who pushed her into responsibility at a young age) caused her to retreat. Scratching the surface of a very deep iceberg was not the solution this patient was looking for.
Throughout the movie there were so many “aha moments” and I was very pleased I chose to take time for myself.
When the film ended, and the lights came on, three people stood in the front of the theater and a woman positioned herself with a camera and tripod in the isle. I was delighted there was question and answer period with two individuals from the film.
Dr. Michael R. Mollura was the composer for the documentary. However, his work is so much deeper than that. He has a Ph.D in Clinical Psychology with two Master degrees in the study of the healing components of music, performance and images. This fascinated me, particularly because music has been such an essential part of my recovery.
Most intriguing to me was a process Michael described as Dream Music Psychotherapy (DMP). Designed as a supplement to traditional psychotherapy, DMP was personally developed and clinically researched by Dr. Mollura. It includes collaboration with his patients to review their dreams and compose original music and images to illustrate them. This process helps facilitate deeper healing and manifestation of creative components once unconscious.
Also present was Patti Penn of pauseinjoy.com. She was the Reiki and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) practitioner in the film working with the patient experiencing skin breakouts. She talked more about the process of healing.
She gave details of EFT and the way pro golfers in Scotland used it to shave three points off their score. She also noted one must move forward consciously toward healing and sometimes people are not ready to confront their emotional burdens to release their physical afflictions. This was true for Eva, the patient with the boils in the documentary.
Patti explained that often we “normalize” stress to the point that it’s uncomfortable to be comfortable. I know this all too well. Even nearly four years into my recovery, I still find occasion to create chaos when things start going too well in my life. This was also demonstrated in the film when Eva had a sound healing with Neuroacuoustic Wizard, Dr. Jeffrey Thompson, D.C. BFA. His healing practice uses a multi-layered approach with musical soundtracks and specially embedded pulses of sound matching brainwaves.
When the optimal intersection of frequencies occur, the body will generally go into a parasympathetic state to achieve intuitive insights, deep healing, and inner peace. However, in Eva’s case, at the intersection of frequencies, her autonomic nervous system went right back to its regulated state of fight or flight.
An audience member asked about a lengthy history of depression with multiple medication attempts without relief. What then?
At that point, I took the opportunity to share my story of 20 years of depression, multiple suicide attempts, seven years in bed, and five psych meds, (including a stimulant, two anti-psychotics, an antidepressant, and a benzodiazepine to counteract the side effects from the stimulant). I was told and understood I would be a “lifer” when it came to medications. Never mind that at one point, my medications cost me more than $800 per month and literally drove me to bankruptcy.
After going through some very dark times, I came to my senses and realized I wasn’t really depressed at all, I was an empath who was asked to cover up my gifts and hide my truth. I was truly suppressed and repressed. I began writing and sharing my truth. I fought for my life, my joy, and my recovery.
I started dancing and I stopped taking my medications. I asked the doctors to remove the major depressive disorder diagnosis from my chart. They refused and told me my history and genetics dictated I would always suffer from depression. I moved forward, choosing a different truth.
After the discussion, several people thanked me for sharing my story. One woman is still with me. She was a young mother. With tears in her eyes, she told me she couldn’t take care of her two-year-old child because she checked herself into the psych ward. She was recently released, and her parents are taking care of her. She remarked she was grateful for the care and the opportunity for help.
I’ve been there. My son was older, but I’ve had to take him to my parent’s house in the middle of the night, so I could go to the psych ward because I was a danger to myself. There’s no shame in taking care of yourself and certainly no shame in ensuring your child is cared for in the process of taking care of you. There’s also no shame in asking for the help you need. I also encouraged her to continue asking for help as it will always be available, often from the oddest and most unexpected sources.
I told her my son just turned 22. She seemed surprised by that and a bit awed as if it’s such a faraway point she couldn’t even fathom getting there.
That’s why they say recovery should be taken one day at a time. I say it should be taken on a moment by moment basis, because sometimes a day is simply too long.
What I know at this moment, is healing is continual, residual, available, synchronistic, connected, passed in the briefest yet most significant intentions, and absolutely possible for each and every person and each and every condition, including me and you as we choose.
I pray you choose healing and ask for the help you need.
The documentary Heal is screening in select cities now. Check www.healdocumentary.com for details. The DVD will be available in December.
HEAL not only taps into the brilliant minds of leading scientists and spiritual teachers, but follows three people on actual high stakes healing journeys. Healing can be extremely complex and deeply personal, but it can also happen spontaneously in a moment. Through these inspiring and emotional stories we find out what works, what doesn’t, and why.