Today’s Practicing Love and Man Alive podcast guest, Dr. Fred Rabinowitz, talks about how he navigates independence and connection in his relationship.
Healthy Independence in Relationships: Show Notes
Every client I’ve worked with, in some way or another, explores the balance of connection and independence in their relationships. Sometimes this exploration is painful, because even though we love someone, we may want different amounts of connection and independence. It’s rare for people to want the same amount of time together and apart, and as a result people can feel rejected, anxious, uncared for, or even smothered.
Do you tend to want more or less connection or independence than another in your relationships? And do the partners you’ve chosen want more or less than you?
Have you been able to talk about this and ask for what you need, or have there been fights and conflicts about this?
No one is wrong or bad here. And with healthy communication this can be navigated with care and love. But if you aren’t aware of what you want, or you’re afraid to ask for more (or less) on either end of the spectrum, you may find relationships challenging.
Today’s Practicing Love and Man Alive podcast guest, Dr. Fred Rabinowitz, talks about how he navigates independence and connection in his relationship, which can also be seen as agency and communion. He also brings his wisdom about men, and their tendencies in relationships, from decades of teaching and doing individual and group therapy.
Fred is a psychologist and professor at the University of Redlands. He is a key architect and author of the American Psychological Association’s first-ever Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men. He has also written Deepening Group Psychotherapy With Men, Breaking Barriers in Counseling Men: Insights and Innovations, and Man Alive: A Primer of Men’s Issues, which is renowned for capturing the problems and conflicts encountered by men in America.
In our deep and multidimensional conversation we discussed…
- The relationship and life satisfaction that comes from being your own best friend
- How trying to be in control is often a reaction to, or avoidance of, being vulnerable
- The power of defining your reality
- Appreciating your partner for their uniqueness, rather than seeing them as a way to get all your needs met
- Becoming aware of your relational needs
- How to respond consciously when you don’t feel understood
- What it looks like for men to have strength with heart
- Male conditioning + how men often have as much depth as women, but not the vocabulary
- Actively bringing intimacy, value, and care to interactions, rather than expecting others to do so
- How needs can be met in different ways in different environments
Fred is a down to earth and humble man, whose way of living and engaging with people inspires me. He has a lot to teach men, and helps those who love men understand the culture’s impact on masculinity, and how to create healthy dynamics.
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Connect with Dr. Rabinowitz
Bio:
Dr. Fred Rabinowitz is a psychologist and professor at the University of Redlands. He is a key architect and author of the American Psychological Association’s first-ever Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men. He has also written Deepening Group Psychotherapy With Men, Breaking Barriers in Counseling Men: Insights and Innovations, and Man Alive: A Primer of Men’s Issues.
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Previously Published on shanajamescoaching.com
