Counting the years back shows the track to the border of familial seperation
–––
He’s Never Coming Back
by Melissa Nava
19
Getting Older.
Worrying about graduation.
Will my dad be here to see me walk the stage?
Nah!
18
I’m a legal adult.
Going to La Mirage Night Club for the first time.
Still living at home though.
Dad still doesn’t call to see how we are.
17
Mom is diagnosed with kidney failure.
Do I need this to happen to me right now?
No.
My mom is my pride and joy. The reason I wake up every morning.
Dad doesn’t seem to budge to come back.
16
I feel like shit.
Dad calls for money.
What the heck is going through his head?
My mother barely has money to support us.
Should we send him money?
Nah, he can work for himself and his new family.
We no longer matter to him.
15
My quinceanera, July 16, 2011
The day I looked forward to.
Danced all night long.
Felt like a paparazzi, pictures here and there.
The first time I got drunk because of my uncle.
Was my dad there?
No.
Did he call to say Happy Birthday?
No.
Family from Mexico said he got drunk that day because he wasn’t here to celebrate with me.
Did I care?
No.
14
Graduated from Mark Twain Middle School.
Started High School.
It was scary.
Dad wasn’t around to help me with boy problems when I needed him.
Started to hate my family because it was broken apart.
13
Realized Dad wasn’t coming back.
Found out my dad had other children.
Hated all girls who had a dad.
Wished every night and day that my dad could be here.
Got kicked out of class every day during 5th period because I’d argue with Mr. Mazilli.
Spit in his face, talked back, threw objects at him.
I was considered the dean’s best friend.
The lazy no good.
12
Graduated from Broadway Elementary School.
Got a friendship scholarship.
Lost communication with my so-called besties.
Started Middle School.
Met new friends; still friends with them today.
I was a straight A student.
Didn’t hear from the man I was supposed to call dad.
11
Got my period.
Pads so uncomfortable.
Walking like I got a stick up my butt.
Dad wasn’t there to comfort me when I had cramps.
Chest started to hurt because my boobs started to grow.
10
Moved houses.
From the ‘hood to Culver City.
Lost my so-called best friends forever but later gained some.
Became a trouble maker.
Looked forward to every weekend because Dad always called and said, “Mija, te quiero mucho y te extrano.” (Baby, I love you and I miss you.)
9
Made my first communion.
Dad wasn’t there although he promised me.
8
Grandmita Sarah died.
Tears rushed down my face.
Grandmita was my world.
She was the best.
7
Met the best teacher, Mr. Jefferson.
Saw friends walking with their dads to school.
I always wondered if one day my dad would bring me to school.
6
Dad wasn’t coming back.
I miss him.
5
Dad was arrested by immigration border protection because he got caught trying to come to the U.S. illegally.
He served 26 months.
Later deported to Zacatecas, Mexico.
4
I wanted to be the Little Mermaid.
Dad left after my birthday.
3
I was Daddy’s little princess.
He promised never to leave my side.
I’d cuddle with him every night with my LALA Teletubby.
We would go fishing together.
I’d always look through ice in the ocean and all of a sudden a fish would pop up.
I thought I made magic.
2
I was Daddy’s little Barbie who he played dress up with.
1
Baptized in Zacatecas, Mexico.
Learned how to walk by grabbing my dog, Monoifacias’s tail.
Dad was always there to catch me when I fell.
0
Mom realized she was two months pregnant with me.
Dad promised never to leave her side.
He would satisfy her craving.
He’d sing lullabies to her stomach till he fell asleep on her belly.
I’d kick him and he would wake up.
Visit Popstheclub, or find them on Twitter @popstheclub and on Facebook
Photo: valeuf/Flickr