As much as I love my usual hiking partner, every once in a while it’s nice to be able to get out at an increased pace and really cover some miles. She’s a trooper and understands that the increased frequency of these walks has come from a lack of pretty much anything else to do but with temperatures north of 80 almost every day she’s no longer interested in anything that isn’t either cool or wet.
I don’t get all that much time to myself but when I do I’ve still been out there, five miles on Saturday morning and another nine today, seven of those planned. Not exactly the Lewis and Clark Expedition but not bad for an overweight forty five year old who’s spent most of the past decade hoping that he won’t have to carry his traveling partner at some point. I’d forgotten how relaxing the woods can be when you are out there alone.
Alone being not quite an accurate term, hiking suddenly becoming a very popular hobby in our summer of seclusion and relaxing something that I was reminded recently was a matter of male privilege, a mindset that many female hikers never completely achieve.
It was about two weeks ago and I was moving at a faster pace than usual trying to get a minimum of five miles in before working that evening when I found myself rapidly approaching another solo hiker, a female. Rather than come up on her suddenly I slowed my pace to keep a respectable distance between us and after about fifteen minutes or so she stopped for a water break and I took the opportunity to pass with nothing more than a quick head nod and averted eyes. I finished my five miles in record time, equally proud that I had managed it in a gentlemanly and conscious manner.
You can imagine my surprise a week later when another member of one of my outdoors Facebook groups, also very gentlemanly and conscious, asked the group’s females what he could do on the trails to make himself less intimidating to them and I found out that despite my good intentions I had handled the situation as wrong as it could possibly have been wrongly handled. In retrospect being surprised by that was also probably wrong.
As of this writing the post has 405 comments. Some came from women who had never thought to be nervous out on the trails alone and were pretty pissed about the fact that they now were, some were afraid to give guys with bad intentions hints on how to not give themselves away, and some came from dudes mansplaining about self-protection techniques, but the vast majority were women either just being appreciative of the ask or giving feedback on the original question.
Not everyone agreed on all of of them but the five biggest that were mentioned, in no particular order, were:
~Wear bright colors. This is one that I never would have thought of but makes sense. It shows that you don’t mind being noticed and gives off a vibe of “openness” instead of looking like you are trying to hide.
~Make noise when you are coming up behind someone. This one is super obvious but I always feel super awkward doing it, probably because I do it in a super awkward way.
~They would much rather you be in front of them than behind. In retrospect, this also should be obvious but I was attempting to keep my distance. I can see how somebody that seems to be intentionally changing their pace would set off alarm bells. This is why it was a helpful thread and I’m passing along what I learned.
~Don’t ask if she’s alone or if you can use her phone “real quick.” I was totally unprepared for how many women stepped forward and said that they had been asked these things while out hiking. Even if some of these people were harmless, even I have to wonder how somebody can possibly be that clueless.
~Smile, make eye contact, and say hello. This is the other place I went wrong but there was some disagreement among the group about whether or not this made them feel better. Some felt that it was a way to show that you were friendly, others would rather you just continue on your way.
I may not always get it right, but I’m trying. I’m trying and there are other guys out there that are as well. If I see something that doesn’t look right I’m going to come over and make sure that you are OK, even if it pisses people off. If somebody seems to be following you I might end up following them, even if it’s not the way I was planning to go.
I know that the single most important thing that I can do is to hold other guys accountable for the things that they say and do, to let them know that a lot of the times when we think we are being funny or are just showing off for the boys what we are really doing is perpetuating a culture and mindset that needs to change.
All I can say for sure is that if you see this idiot out on the trails this summer, he’s harmless. He’s harmless to anyone other than himself. If you want to stop and make sure that he’s going the right way it might not be a terrible idea.
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Previously Published on Thirsty Daddy