With the holidays approaching, the requests for Nola’s opinions have begun. So, I decided to get a head start on the process by interviewing her.
James:
Nola, let’s not dance around the subject. What are some of the ideal gifts for women who read romance novels?
Nola:
There are a few levels to answering this question, but let’s start with the woman in question. She reads romance novels. People who read always love receiving books. However, to avoid buying her the wrong book – or one she’s read, find out where she buys her books. Then get her a gift certificate. For romance readers, if you want to support independent bookstores, go to https://www.romancingthedata.com/bookstores It lists romance-only bookstores all around the world. There are over 180, with new stores opening every month. Then, buy your love a gift certificate at one of those stores or give her a gift certificate to a large local bookstore.
If you’d rather give her a different kind of gift, here are the five staples of gifts that men give to women:
- Flowers
- Jewelry
- Perfume
- Silk Scarves
- Chocolate
First, let’s see how you do on this quick quiz:
- All women love flowers. Roses are best. Yes/No.
- Jewelry is a great gift, the more expensive the better. Yes/No
- You can’t go wrong if you give a woman perfume. Yes/No
- A pretty silk scarf is a gift that all women will like. Yes/No
- All women like chocolate. A big box is best. Yes/No
If you answered “yes” to any of these statements, you’re sure to make a gift-giving mistake! Here’s the inside scoop on how to avoid the most common missteps.
Flowers
Not all women like to receive flowers.
Some women believe that cut flowers are a waste of money because they die so quickly. Other women believe that cut flowers are offensive because they think flowers should be left to bloom and die naturally. Some women are allergic to certain flowers. Some women like specific flowers and not others. Before you gift a woman with flowers, it would be a good idea to ask her if she likes to receive them. Listen carefully to her answers. If you get a clear message that she likes to get flowers, ask her which type of flowers she likes best, including her preference in colors. Some women like white roses but not red roses. Some women hate roses and prefer peonies.
Once you have done your homework and you have decided that flowers are a good gift, here are some ways to raise your flower gift from a nice gift to a fabulous gift.
- Have the flowers delivered. Home is generally best, but flowers sent to an office can give a female friend some bragging rights. Never send flowers to an office on Friday. Flowers that are sent to an office on Friday have to be taken home or they may wilt over the weekend. Making a person work to enjoy a gift is very inconsiderate.
- Go big or go small. A perfect flower in a beautiful bud vase is a lovely gift. A bouquet of flowers should be bountiful – more than a dozen to make an impression.
- Choose flowers for a bouquet based on the language of flowers. This is a tradition that matches different types of flowers and different colors of flowers with a wide variety of meanings. This idea goes back hundreds of years. For example, red roses mean passionate love, while most white flowers have a meaning relating to purity or high ideals. You can determine which flowers to select by doing a little research on line. To make sure that the recipient of your gift understands your message, you might include a copy of The Language of Flowers written and illustrated by Sarah Cray, available on Amazon and on line. https://tinyurl.com/24589kh3
Jewelry
Here is the secret no woman will tell you about jewelry.
A woman to whom you give jewelry would almost always have preferred that you not give her jewelry. Jewelry is very personal for most women. Just because you see a woman wearing a circle pin, for example, does not mean that she would like another circle pin. Also, women’s feelings about jewelry change over time. What a woman might have liked last year, may be uninteresting the next.
If you want to give a woman jewelry, tell her you would like to give her a piece of jewelry and that you would like her to choose the piece herself. Tell her your budget. Ask her where she would like to go shopping for it. Make it a fun excursion with lunch or dinner. Be prepared to suggest some places to go other than a major retailer. Jewelry can be found in many places including craft fairs, jewelry exchanges and small stores that specialize in one-of-a-kind pieces. The gift of your understanding, consideration and paying attention to her needs is more valuable than anything your female friend may buy on your outing.
Perfume
Perfume is even more personal than jewelry.
The only way to make sure you are giving your friend the perfume she likes is to ask her what perfume she wears and if she would like you to gift her with it. This is not romantic! You might ask her if there is a perfume store where she likes to shop and give her a gift certificate so she can choose what she likes. As with jewelry, women’s tastes in perfume are subject to change without notice. Also, please note. Good perfume is expensive! If you’re gifting on a budget (nothing to be ashamed of) I’d suggest that you give perfume a pass.
Silk Scarf
Most women have love/hate relationships with their silk scarves.
A woman’s purchase of a silk scarf is usually motivated by the need to accessorize a particular garment that she owns. An inexpensive scarf (under $50) is something that a woman will buy without too much angst. When that garment is no longer worn and given away, the scarf, mysteriously, remains in one’s wardrobe, often never to be worn again. An expensive scarf (over $100) will give a woman pause. Even if she buys it, it will, inevitably end up as an orphan. Therefore, a scarf bought as a gift to go with a specific wardrobe item is a non-starter. Simply stated, it’s not a good gift.
Here’s the secret to romantic scarf gift-giving. There is another aspect to women’s buying scarves. They see something (usually expensive) that they fall in love with. They may or may not have a suitable garment with which to wear it, but they don’t care because they love the scarf. They will find a way to wear it and will love it forever. The way you gift that scarf to a female friend is to purchase a romantic greeting card and write, “For the scarf you will fall in love with.” Sign it. Put cash in the card (new bills.) Sign it. That’s it.
Chocolate
Chocolate manufacturers have put a lot of money into creating the idea that giving chocolate as a gift to a woman is the ultimate romantic gift. It may be, or it may not be. If you have been in a relationship with a woman for even a few weeks, you will know if chocolate is special to her or not. If she likes chocolate, and if she isn’t “trying to lose a few pounds,” in which case you absolutely don’t give her a food gift of any type, you need to know what type of chocolate she likes. Dark? Milk? White? Vegan? With nuts? Fruit? Pretzels?
If you are giving chocolate as a gift, less is not more. Some upscale chocolatiers create gift boxes of beautifully decorated chocolates. Here in New York, a box of 4 pieces like that can cost over $50. That’s a lot of money for 4 pieces of chocolate. A better option might be a $50 gift certificate to a favorite chocolate store where your friend can make her own choices. Make it a date. Have lunch, a drink or do something else focused around the neighborhood where the store is located.
Best Book-Related gifts for Romance Readers
Nothing says “I love you” more than a personalized gift. I found a very cute personalized keepsake for that special person in your life. It’s a Reading Girl/Boy Monogram Bookish Keepsake – Personalized Custom Shaped Wooden Ornament from Wander Prints – https://tinyurl.com/nr7pnbuf. There are a number of other options on this site at reasonable prices.
It may be cold outside, but you can be sure to warm your loved one’s heart with a pair of personalized book-themed socks. There are several different quotes to choose from and you can select things like hair color, glasses, clothing and even the drink that the named avatar that will appear with on one of the socks. Available from Pawfect House and quite affordable.
A really pretty soft sweatshirt is difficult to find. Whether your book-loving female friend is a girly-girl or a closet-pink freak, this embroidered sweatshirt is sure to be a hit. It’s available in a long sleeve classic style or a hoodie version, a wide range of colors and can be personalized with the recipient’s name or a favorite quote. I’m going to put this gift on my holiday list! Available from OctagonArtcrafts. Also available from this supplier is a crocheted pot of pansies. Add it to your sweatshirt gift. In the Language of Flowers, pansies (from the French pensée, thought) are understood to suggest love, thoughtfulness and remembrance. Both of these lovely gifts are moderately priced and available at https://tinyurl.com/yseh7pfr
This year is the 250th anniversary of Jane Austen’s’ birth and the whole world is celebrating. Austen is often credited with being the creator of the modern romance novel. Pride and Prejudice, perhaps her best-known work, continues to inspire writers in a wide variety of genres. For your romance-reading loved one, here’s a very appropriate holiday gift—a really lovely Pride and Prejudice printed leather shoulder bag, available in several different sizes and reasonably priced. Also available for other Austen titles.
The essence of romance is surprise. Many men, when told this think, “surprise party.” However, many women prefer not to be surprised by a party in their honor for which they have not prepared—clothing, accessories, hair, makeup, nails. Being surprised with a party when you walk in after jogging is not most women’s favorite activity.
Surprise, in “women talk” is going out to lunch and coming back to find that the house has been cleaned top to bottom, that the “to do” list that has been ignored by her partner for six months has been miraculously completed and that he’s not asking her to praise him, coming home from work to find that a nice dinner is waiting and all she has to do is wash her hands and sit down at the table. (By the way, you don’t have to cook. Her favorite take out foods are fine. This is what delivery services are for!) You get extra points if there are flowers and candles on the table. The gift of your efforts to do something nice for your loved one is the best gift of all.
Nola Saint James (Rabbi Writes Regency Romance and Recipes) is the author of the Regency romance and romantasy novels Anarchy at Almacks, Love at Midnight: A Regency Christmas Romantasy and Curse of the Ravenscrofft Brides, all of which are widely available in print and ebooks. A Spanish-language version of Anarchy at Almacks – Anarquia en Almacks and a Christmas-themed novel, Milagro de Medianoche are both available on Kindle Unlimited. An audio version of Midnight Miracle voiced by Mallory Lewis, is available wherever audiobooks are sold.
In her alternate life as Rabbi Dr. Jo David, (https://rabbijodavid.com) Nola teaches a long-running weekly course in Bible as Literature on Zoom (new members are welcome.) She will be offering a new course – Leviticus for Lawyers, for people interested in the law, in early 2026. She is also available as a speaker on a variety of topics.
Follow Nola on Instagram nolasaintjames, Facebook, and on her website – https://nolasaintjames.com. Nola’s books are published by Pinfeather Press – https://pinfeatherpress.com.
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