According to multiple sources, I was a very difficult child. My mother still tells stories of me running full speed into hallway walls, careening around the house like a drunken roadrunner. I have confirmed reports of her tearfully calling my grandmother, breaking down in anticipation of the end of the school day. In today’s world I would have been a textbook candidate for pharmaceutical behavior modification, but in those days you were just called “hyperactive” or a “pain in the ass”, and shoved outside to play.
Eventually, I calmed down and neither myself or my mother was ever institutionalized. Depending on caffeine consumption, my energy levels now vary somewhere between a manatee and three-toed sloth.
Alaina’s genome appears to have been influenced very heavily by her father. Her “terrible twos” will be remembered not for tantrums but for solar flare level energy eruptions. Every attempt was made to wear her out. We went for long “adventures” in the woods and were at the park several days a week. Sometimes she would just run circles around the pool.
Thankfully, she had slowed down considerably over the past six months. Occasionally she will even sit on the couch and watch an entire movie from start to finish. Some of the reason for this comes from starting school and the phasing out of nap-time, a trade that I wish came with a more chronological benefit. The Law of Conservation of Energy probably also applies. It’s scientifically impossible for any child to keep up that kind of pace.
This winter has been absolutely brutal for the Northeast, a seemingly endless few months of snowfall and below normal temperatures. If I see one more of my friends from warmer climes complaining on Facebook about temperatures in the 40s and the need to wear “coats”, I’m going to be forced to fly down and give them a piece of my mind. For a month.
There has been very little opportunity to go outside and play. There were a few snowmen built early in the season, great disappointment when they didn’t start talking. There has been no sledding, no snowball fights, no forts made. The swingset/guardpost is completely inaccessible, reduced to half a slide and a few ladder rungs. Any approaching Imperial AT-ATs will go unnoticed.
The few times she has been bundled up and taken outside, Alaina has been given a child-sized shovel and put to work. Life is hard here on the frozen tundra.
Its been a challenge keeping her occupied and everybody’s sanity intact. We go to Target more often than is probably necessary. Endless hours have been spent at PetCo looking at fish and gerbils. The cashiers at Stop and Shop know Alaina by name and wonder why we don’t do all our grocery shopping at once. I’ve now seen Frozen more times than Top Gun and Tombstone combined.
This weekend temperatures are supposed to hit the balmy 40s and there is no snow in the forecast. Spring training is underway and The Masters is next month. I’m cautiously optimistic that the worst is over and that I will eventually see my lawn.
I’m also unbelievably grateful that this didn’t happen last year.
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Originally published on Musings of a Thirsty Daddy
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