Today, to my complete surprise, my 17 month-old son defied my trust by running up the stairs while I was mindlessly brushing my teeth.
If you’re a parent (and if you’re not), you’ll know this is bad.
Very bad.
Before I go on, I disclose that my husband caught him halfway up the stairs as I was running a second behind. Our son was fine.
I heard the banging of his hands and feet hitting the carpet but the noise didn’t alarm me. It was an unfamiliar sound yet my body did not react. My mind was elsewhere. I can’t remember what I was thinking.
It was my mistake. I betrayed my husband and my child because they both trust me to look after him and I let him climb halfway up the curved stairs, to the point where I could not even see him. All while thinking of nothing in particular while brushing my teeth. I let my mind wander and that could’ve had devastating consequences.
My husband and I both stared at each other, unsure of how to act. My heart leaped out of my body and I felt this tightening around my throat. I started to sweat. I was ashamed, ready to apologise, cry, but also defend myself at the same time. I couldn’t think of any words to say that would somehow compensate for the recklessness of my actions (or lack thereof).
I felt my son’s father’s questions on my shoulders. He didn’t need to say anything. On one hand, he was worried about his son’s safety, but he also knew that as the mother, I was already yelling at myself, telling myself everything he would have.
I took our son in my arms, and firmly said he must NEVER try to climb up the stairs without one of us again.
I second-guess myself with every decision I make for our son. I’m so careful, usually. Heck, my husband, although very trusting in general, can criticise some decisions I make. It’s normal and we get through it all.
But this was a really bad incidence considering both my husband and I decided not to have stair gates and to instead teach Andriel to wait for an adult before going up or down the stairs. And up until today, this set-up worked.
Some may argue we should just get stair-gates. It’s for peace of mind and it’s not worth the risk of not getting them.
Putting that aside, the focus on this article is that, no matter how good a parent you are, everyone makes mistakes.
My mistake was letting my mind wander for a matter of seconds. But the universe taught me something here too. If you read my work you’ll know I’m all about silver linings, and I am privileged to say that this potentially awful incident gave me a lesson instead of a tragedy.
Focus, wholeheartedly, on everything you do.
Because although this was an exceptional circumstance, people let their minds trail off into blurry thoughts of nothing in particular, at the wrong times.
That’s what meditation is for. It’s necessary for people to stop thinking from time to time. But rather than doing it at the wrong time and missing important events in your life, set time aside just for that.
Or suffer the consequences.
Become aware of when you feel you need to just stop thinking, and set time aside for that.
It’ll help keep you focused when you need to be.
I wish I didn’t need this kind of incident to remind me of how important this is. But, you live and you learn.
This can be applied to everything, not just to prevent accidents.
Stay away from your phone and fully pay attention to your child, your spouse, your friends.
Set time aside for mindless stuff so you can be in the moment for everything else.
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Previously published on medium
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Photo credit: by Levi XU on Unsplash