How Can We Help Our Online Friends Grieve?

As part of the human condition, we all experience times of pain, grief, or loss. Some small number of other animals appear to experience something like these emotions, but as far as anyone knows they are typically fleeting and not impactful in the long-term; despite anecdotal evidence to the contrary.

I think the human journey through loss is one (of several) reasons that most people desire to be with someone — a “partner” if you will. We all have friends and acquaintances, but we need that special someone more intimate to help pull us through the dark days.

The irony, of course, as some many of us have experienced, is that developing that relationship, engaging with that one special someone, is a large investment of time and emotion. Which means when that connection is lost or severed, the loss and the hurt are even more.

In real life, friends and family help us maneuver through choppy times.

But what can we offer our virtual friends, “friendships” that we have fostered through virtual interactions based on respect, admiration, or mutual interest?

When our online friends are impacted by life, as real people with real emotions, we wish to reach out, to offer support. Despite our intentions, words on this white screen seem small and insignificant. I wasn’t, and can’t be, there for my far away friend, but through her words I was able to get a sense of her deep anguish. There’s nothing I can do from far away to take it away or even mitigate. But I can “listen” through my eyes and offer support through my words.

As I reminded her, the world is a better place for having her in it; we would all be diminished without such a wonderful, positive influence.

My advice, for what is is worth? Keep moving forward, despite the headwinds, steer a slightly different course now that your world has changed as a result of this loss. But the point is, keep moving forward. Forward is good, even if the path is a little — or a lot — unpredictable at times.

Hang in there. Let’s see what tomorrow brings, together. Virtually.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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