I checked all the boxes I thought I had to check.
I had the career, the cars, the homes, the watches, the clothes, and the VIP status at the hot restaurants.
I did more than check them; I excelled at them.
But there was one box that wasn’t checked, and I was chasing and checking all those other boxes, thinking that one box would be checked one day.
I thought all those other boxes would eventually reach a critical mass and allow me to check that box, but no matter what I did, it hung over me – unchecked.
What was that one box?
Meaning.
And my life was empty without it.
I was chasing meaning through professional success and materialism and was too blind to see my actions would never create the outcome I desired.
So I doubled down on the chase, and when that didn’t work, I doubled down on the escapes (alcohol/materialism/sex/porn).
I had a success-sized hole in the middle of my life and was throwing sand into a sieve.
Here’s something I learned:
Meaning isn’t difficult to create.
However, it is slightly more difficult than living a numb, existing but not living life set on autopilot where I was chasing short-term high after short-term high.
It took going to prison, losing everything, and rebuilding from scratch to learn that meaning isn’t something to chase.
Meaning is cultivated and created – and it doesn’t have to cost a thing other than time, and I can’t think of a better investment.
3 Simple Ways I Create Meaning Now:
Connect with nature: I get outside as much as possible and experience awe and wonder. I’ve always enjoyed nature, but it carries a much more significant meaning after prison.
Weather permitting, my fiancée and I walk on the beach every afternoon when we’re done with work, and we go hiking on the weekends.
We put away our phones (minus the occasional obligatory selfies) and enjoy our surroundings.
Service: Pre-prison, the world revolved around me; post-prison, I do my best to put the focus on others.
I ask myself, “Who can I help today?”
And then I do something to help them. Works like a charm every time.
It could be a check-in, promoting their content, or writing a book or podcast review.
What I’ve learned is this: It doesn’t have to be a massive action, but it has to come from a good place, and it has to be consistent.
Life Calling: I invest as much time as possible in my Life’s Calling, which is communication—taking my experience of corporate success, federal prison, suicide ideation, rebuilding from scratch, and now living a life of mission, meaning, purpose, and fulfillment, and alchemizing that experience through coaching, speaking, and writing.
I chased the 1st half of my life, and now the focus of my 2nd half is creating.
Creating is way better.
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