The family is one of the most successful institutions that can be built on Earth, it promotes intimacy and love and ensures reassurance and comfort for children, but more important than marriage is that this marriage is built on the right foundations to last; therefore, in this article, we will review the concept of marriage and what qualities are suitable for husband and wife.
What is the definition of marriage?
Marriage is a word that denotes the marriage of a male with a female or his coupling with her. the concept of marriage in a generalized way indicates a contract between a male and a female to live together based on multiple grounds. marriage is an important stage for the establishment of human societies, through the establishment of families. a second concept of marriage includes that it is the legitimate link organized by God Almighty between a man and a woman to create a family in an atmosphere dominated by a lot of love and reassurance.
Based on this connection, both spouses have responsibilities and duties, both towards each other and towards their future children, and the spouses behave within moral standards based on mutual respect, equality, and acceptance of the other.
What are the criteria for choosing a partner?
The method of choosing a husband varies from one society to another. In some societies, marriage is the result or culmination of a love that has lasted for years. in other societies, marriage is according to material and moral temptations, and love is a secondary thing. in some societies, marriage is an agreement between the parents of the spouses without taking into account the opinion of the spouses. this is known as traditional marriage.
Here are the most important criteria we have to choose a partner based on:
1. Exchange of love between the parties:
Love is the most important rule in choosing a partner. when a person chooses a partner he loves, this makes him accept, understand, and forgive his mistakes. affection is the basis for the continuation of the relationship and its success. do not listen to those who tell you that love comes after marriage, so you leave the happiness of your life at the mercy of chance and make it threatened with extinction. this has disastrous effects on children.
2. Age closeness of spouses:
Make sure that the partner is close to your age, this promotes harmony and raises the level of understanding, making both partners able to accept each other.
3. Intellectual and cultural convergence:
Take care that your partner has a prestigious scientific level, this will also strengthen harmony and reflect positively on the boys, who will receive scientific attention well.
4. Choosing a partner who will stick to you:
Make sure that the partner is loyal to you to the extent that he does not dispense with you at the first slip or the first mistake, and most importantly, he does not leave you when you are ill, how many men we see in our society leave their wives when they are ill, and this is a big problem that indicates a mistake in choosing a husband.
5. Choosing a partner with a professional or a craft owner:
This will give him importance, make life between you participatory, based on equality and understanding, and ensure a good life for children.
6. Focus in the period of acquaintance on the most subtle things:
Because the partner will show you that he is doing just fine, but pay attention to his lapses and put them to study.
7. Choosing a partner with good manners:
This will strengthen and strengthen the relationship, and the parents will be good role models for the children to follow, and ensure the permanence and stability of the relationship.
8. Avoid the demanding partner:
Stay away from those who have a lot of requests, this sees you as just a machine that you have to execute only what is requested.
Tips for becoming a good husband:
Being a good husband is not something that comes naturally to most men, it often means putting yourself and your wife first, something that takes a lot for men to get used to.
Here are some tips to help you learn how to be a good husband:
1. Be your wife’s closest friend:
A couple is much more than just a man and a woman, you two should be best friends because you are life partners, so it’s best to go to your partner first when something noteworthy happens in your life just as if you pick up your phone to tell your friend about an interesting event, and your interest should be to tell your wife; and that’s because she is your closest and dearest friends.
In the same way, if she comes to you with some news, you should be able to share her feelings about it and help her if she needs it, find solutions to her problems, and stay away from blaming her, this will strengthen the feelings of love between you and make the relationship more strong and stable.
2. Be the solid shield of your wife in front of people:
Make sure that your wife sees you as an impregnable fortress for her, repels harm from her, and stands by her when she is abused by others, Make her feel safe by your proximity.
3. Be careful not to insult your wife:
Insulting your wife is not manly and does not give you strength, especially insulting her in front of people, this will generate feelings of hatred towards you and weaken the relationship and may end it, so be careful not to insult her in front of the boys; because this will make the boys reduce their respect for their mother and see her weak.
4. Take care of your appearance:
Most men do not care about their physical appearance once they are married, they stop making any effort to improve their appearance after they become with their partners, This may sometimes be enough to kill the romance in marriage, so make an effort to look good to your wife, and she in return will appreciate it because she knows that you are making an effort for her happiness, so I advise you to play sports and build muscles; because it improves your appearance and makes you more attractive towards your wife.
5. Respect your wife’s beliefs:
If you are from the same religious background, it will be easy to share her religious faith, but if you are from different religious backgrounds, each of you should always respect each other’s beliefs, and you should never make your wife feel silly because of what you believe even if you don’t believe in what you believe, let your wife know that you respect her beliefs, this will give her an idea about you that you are of a high intellectual and cultural level and that you are understanding and non-fanatical.
6. Show love to your wife:
We may see some husbands ashamed of showing their love for their wives and perhaps they see it as a detraction from their masculinity, this will generate a feeling of inferiority in a woman and that she is completely unsaturated with love; therefore, a man should woo his woman, pamper her and make her feel that he loves her and get closer to her.
7. Support your wife in her decisions:
If your wife has a goal that she wants to work towards, do everything you can to support her, Don’t laugh at her dreams; because that will only shatter her passion and extinguish the flame of life inside her, You are the only person in the world who should feel with you that she can get support from you; so please defend her and make her think that she can do anything she wants to do, and in doing so she will love you more.
Tips for becoming a good wife:
Satisfy him with love and attention and make him feel that he does not need anyone else.
Take care of your external appearance and make him always in a state of attraction to you, for example, keep fit and try to practice types of sports that make you fit enough.
Keep the house clean and always keep it tidy.
Be an ambitious woman whose eyes sparkle with dreams and wishes and make him a partner in those dreams.
Take care of him and feel that he is your spoiled child.
Always strive to earn certificates and raise your scientific and technical level.
Do not make too many requests and do not burden him with questions that will make him bored and indignant.
Make sure his family is treated well.
Be a caring and caring mother who takes good care of her children.
Make sure your husband is number one in your life.
Be a good cook and make him happy with your delicious food.
Wake up early and feel the energy and vitality that is inside you.
For him, being a source of pride flaunts you among people morally, aesthetically, and also in terms of intelligence.
Don’t let routine take over your life and steal joy from it.
A topic to be careful about before marriage:
This speech is addressed to both parties, let both partners be warned about being exposed to some kind of blackmail, especially sexual blackmail, there is no need to delve into sex matters during the dating period; this is because some men have the goal of dating is blackmail only and does not intend to marry, so we find a lot of cases of breaking off the engagement at the dating stage, and this may be accompanied by the threat of publishing sexual photos if the other party does not provide money.
Therefore, we must be careful and we must be careful in choosing a partner, we have to pay attention in the period of dating, what exactly the partner aims for, And what is the purpose of dating I would advise anyone who has been subjected to some type of extortion not to hesitate to complain to the authorities concerned with this type of crime and not to be afraid of the consequences because the law prevents extortion and protects its victims.
In conclusion:
We find that any decision in our life needs study, care, and reflection, especially when it is a fateful decision towards your life and the lives of your children; so be calm in choosing your decisions and know that you are solely responsible for them, and do not let instinct control your minds and divert you from the right way in choosing a partner, and know that the basic principle for the success of any relationship is love and respect only.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Sandy Millar on Unsplash
