Some would say he was ordinary-looking. But somehow, there was always a flock of women surrounding him, eager for his attention.
This would surprise most people because he certainly didn’t fit the Hollywood version of an “attractive man.”
He certainly wasn’t built; he was actually a bit underweight and had a smaller build.
He wasn’t tall; he was, in fact, short.
His facial features were pretty common, nothing out of the ordinary.
So why could he have the attention of almost any woman in the room?
I first saw this magnetic power in action at the beginning of my career as a dating and relationship coach for men.
After long hours of building my business during the day, I’d head out once a week to go country swing dancing to get a little exercise and relax.
Because reading people and building attraction are such a massive part of what I do, I naturally noticed the kind of attention this man was getting.
Not only that, I happen to know a thing or two about why he got this attention. Even though many would say he’s ordinary-looking at best.
Would you like to know his secrets too?
Whether you’re sick of feeling overlooked and invisible or are simply wanting to make more of an impact when you enter the room, these skills have the power to permanently change everything in your love life.
Let’s talk about 3 ways this “average-looking” man became magnetic (and how YOU can too!)
1 — He Owned The “Sexy Mindset”
Most people don’t know this, but “sexy” is a mindset, an attitude.
Most of us know someone who’s physically attractive but doesn’t know it. They hang their head, talk themselves down, and push people away without realizing it.
Yes, it can certainly give you an advantage to have a nice body (and there are simple things you can do to improve yours, but that’s a topic for another day); however, your attitude and mindset matter more than you think.
A wonderful example of this is Tom Hiddleston’s portrayal of Loki (just without the super villain vibes, of course).
Loki knows Loki is irresistible and therefore, the audience believes it! He never has to tell anyone; his presence oozes this sexy confidence in himself, and everyone notices and accepts it as fact.
Shifting to this “sexy attitude” is something I love sharing with my clients because it’s so insanely powerful once the shift happens.
2 — He Rocked What He Had Instead Of Emphasizing What He Didn’t
You’ve heard that voice before, right?
“I can’t smile, my teeth look bad.”
“No one will notice me because I’m short.”
“My face is so unattractive, no one will notice or like me.”
We all have flaws and things about ourselves that we wish were different.
However, focusing on them only accentuates them.
Imagine you were at a party and the host suddenly pointed to a spill on the carpet and shouted, “Please don’t look at that!”
Would you look at it?
Of course! Why? Because they were focused on it and drew your attention there.
If they hadn’t, you probably wouldn’t have noticed (or if you had, you wouldn’t have cared/been comforted as you remember the stain on your carpet at home).
When we instead focus our energy on feeding what we DO have to offer, everything changes.
One thing the man in my story was good at was rocking what he had.
He dressed nicely in clothes that fit him well. They didn’t look particularly expensive, but it was obvious he knew how to put an outfit together.
He smelled nice and had a modern, attractive haircut.
He didn’t give up and throw in the towel because he was “ordinary looking.” Instead, he put his best efforts into himself, and it showed.
How can you shift your focus from what you’re uncomfortable with about yourself to something positive?
Maybe you’re good at making people laugh, have broad shoulders, or gentle eyes. Find what your “secret” attractive traits are and ROCK them.
3 — He Knew How To Interact With Women
What I’m about to say may bring you a lot of relief… here goes…
Usually, it’s not that you’re an average-looking man that’s the problem. Usually, it’s that you have average skills.
Knowing how to create chemistry as your authentic self, intrigue women without manipulation, and fascinate someone just by being you aren’t things that are taught in high school.
The sad reality is that most people (both men and women) are totally clueless about how to interact with each other!
The good news is, a little know-how goes a long way to transforming both the way you feel and the way others feel about you.
And an added bonus is the fact that most people aren’t taking the time to learn these skills, which will make you stand out.
Any time you gain authentic, effective strategies for attraction, love, and connection, you immediately show that you’re outstanding and exceptional.
You stand out from the crowd.
Remember, it’s usually not that someone is “average-looking” that’s the problem. It’s that they simply have average skills.
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Previously Published on Medium
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