How I Stopped Procrastinating

I have been a procrastinator for as long as I can remember. It has been almost impossible to overcome this dreaded habit because it always seemed like this is just how my brain is wired.

Why Do I Tend to Procrastinate?

I never focused much on why I procrastinated. Instead, I’d often just end up in the middle of one of my last-minute panics, cursing myself for not starting earlier and trying to accomplish way too much in way too little time. During these times, I usually did not have the capacity to analyse the poor decision-making that led me to be in that situation.

However, I have recently realised a few things about my tendency to procrastinate. Procrastinating lets me enjoy my time in the present. Or, this is what I have always thought. But is this really true?

The simple answer is no. This is just what I have always led myself to believe.

Stuck on Repeat

Say, I had an important task to complete at work on Friday. (I have a corporate job with typical 9–5 hours, Monday to Friday.) On Thursday night, I would be optimistic. Of course, I could definitely finish the task the next day, no problem. Come Friday morning, my optimism would already be fading. It was Friday, which was basically the weekend already. I would start focusing on my weekend plans and end up negatively affecting my workday.

After all, it’s only Friday. Even if I were to be less productive today and didn’t end up finishing my task, there would still be plenty of time to finish it before Monday, two whole days. It wouldn’t even matter when I did it, as long as it’s done by Monday.

I can’t even count how many times I fooled myself into believing this.

What would actually happen? I would slack off on Friday (for no reason at all), ignore my work all through the weekend, and then finally panic on Sunday night — every time, without fail.

I guess this wasn’t the absolute worst outcome since the panic would always eventually get to me, and this ensured I started my work on Sunday night. However, when I think about what actually happened between Friday morning and Monday morning, it was never ideal.

The Illusion of Happiness

In my typical weekend example above, my Friday would be relatively good since I wasn’t working very hard. But even then, I would usually feel guilty for not working hard when I had an important task to complete. But yes, once 5 pm struck, this guilt often subsided.

Saturday and Sunday? I would go about whatever plans I had for the weekend— meeting family or friends, running errands, or even just relaxing. It sounds pretty good, but in reality, it never was. Why? It was because there was always this gnawing feeling of anxiety, stress, and guilt at the back of my mind. Whether I was actively aware of it or not, it was always there. In the middle of watching a movie, my mind would wander, and I would suddenly think, “How should I go about doing my task?”, “How long would it take me to finish it?”, “Would I be able to finish it on time?”, “What if something goes wrong and I can’t finish it?”. The worry was endless, and I could never actually completely enjoy my time in the present.

Not only that, but when I finally started working on Sunday night, it was always a panicked attempt to finish, longing to go to bed but never being able to until the early hours of Monday morning. This also inevitably ruined Monday at work because I obviously didn’t get a good night’s sleep.

So, why did I constantly put myself through this? In no universe was this a good plan.

It was a false sense of enjoying the present. At the time, putting it off felt like I could be completely free of the dreaded task for the present. But in reality, the longer I put it off, the more my anxiety built up, and the less I could enjoy other things.

Think Ahead

So, how could I actually enjoy or relax without any strings attached?

I could enjoy my entire weekend to the fullest if I had worked as usual on Friday and finished up my task; no worry, no stress, just peace and true weekend vibes. Even if I had tried my best but not finished it, I would definitely have been in a better place. Having an already-assessed view of the outstanding work is still better than the fear of the unknown.

This is exactly what I tried to start doing. I now stop for a minute and force myself to consider my “future self”. It is not tomorrow’s problem because I stop to think about what my weekend would actually look like if I were to procrastinate today. I might have exciting plans for Saturday night, but would I be able to enjoy them if I procrastinate today? How would I be feeling on Monday at 1 am as I try to finish the work I could more easily finish today? It’s not hard to imagine since I’ve been through this exact scenario multiple times.

No More Putting Things Off

It was not worth it. I worry about work enough during the week, and there’s no reason why this worry should leak into my precious weekend. This was ultimately affecting my own mental and physical health. My weekend should be 100% reserved for myself, my family, my friends, or anything else I choose.

I admit that it is not something that can be done easily, especially for those who have been procrastinating for years. I myself am not always successful, but it has been a good start, and the difference in my mental state is undeniable.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.