How Social Media Made Dating Unfair

Social media and dating apps didn’t make it easier for men to meet women. They made it easier for top-tier men to meet all the women.

The problem is: they’re not going away any time soon.

Before this age of digital dating, a top-tier man could only date so many women. He’d be limited by how many he could meet in person.

Now, those limits have vanished. He can show off his value to thousands of women passively. He can send hundreds of DMs to women in his hometown and outside of it too.

If his profile is on point, many will respond and want to meet him. He could arrange a date with a new woman every night if he worked hard.

I know some online aficionados who double-book dates, just in case…

…

But what has this trend done to the average Jeffreys? The guys who don’t showcase a high-value on social media…

Well, these guys used to be able to attract their equals…

But now top-tier men are using social media to date their equals and everyone else’s too.

This picture illustrates what’s happening pretty well.

…

It’s No Good Being An Average Guy Any More

If you want to live a prosperous dating life, you have to propel yourself into the top tier of men.

Thanks to the rise of dating apps and social media, average men are essentially invisible now.

Most women are getting attention from top-tier men online, and that’s all they’re interested in now.

Thankfully, the bar for being a top 10–20% dude has never been lower.

Men are less masculine than ever. They’re less likely to have their own place or their own car. They’re less likely to be able to approach women in the real world. What’s more, a disturbing amount of young men have no close friends, let alone a thriving social circle.

Avoid most of these problems and you’re well on the way to being considered a top-tier guy.

…

Build A Great Life And Show It Off

If you’re a dude with some expendable income, good friends and a fun lifestyle, this can be enough to attract a great woman.

Got some charm and charisma? A sense of humor? A decent body? Even better…

These qualities are obtainable. As a man, it’s your job to work for them. It’s also your job to show them off and attract women.

I’m a huge advocate of approaching women in the real world to do that. Nowadays, it’s so rare for men to do this smoothly that this alone can be enough to make a lasting emotional impact on women.

But I’m also a constant proponent of showing off your attractive qualities on Instagram. This doesn’t come across as attention-seeking or braggadocious. It’s part of today’s social media culture — and everyone else is doing it. It doesn’t make you look too desperate to impress one woman because you’re posting content for all of your followers.

At the same time, it will remind the one woman (or many women) you’re pursuing how much fun she could be having with you. It can inspire many women who previously ghosted you to restart conversations. This is provided that you’re swapping IG details with women instead of phone numbers, of course.

In extreme cases, you can become one of those top Gs who slide in random women’s DMs and land dates that way.

…

A Great Instagram Boosts Your Value Even More

Personally, I prefer to approach women in the real world and use Instagram to solidify our connection.

The more women see my attractive qualities on Instagram, the more inspired they’ll feel to date me.

When I post a video of myself surrounded by women at a party, even more women reach out in my DMs.

You might hate that this is true, but it is.

Social media has changed the dating landscape. You’re either part of the movement or you’re not.

The good news is: not every top-tier man has jumped on this train yet.

Plenty of men remain stubborn about marketing themselves on social media. Many more have no idea how to do it…

If you work on building your social media presence now, you can leapfrog them and date the women they would have gotten.

Ultimately, it’s up to you. You can be that guy who proudly boasts how social media sucks. Or you can be the guy who leverages it to super-charge his dating life.

…

To learn more, check out my article on How To Master Instagram For Dating In 2023 or watch the video below.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***

From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

***

Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.

A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.