Vincent Stuart didn’t always understand how important the massage ritual was for his parents, but now that he does he strongly recommends it.
When I was younger I didn’t understand anything about love or marriage. I was confused as to why my father and mother would take turns every other night and give each other a massage. I guess I didn’t understand how good they felt, but also I didn’t understand that it makes you feel like the other person cares for you more than you might have thought. Plus it’s a good way to relax your spouse after they have a bad day!
Men are biologically spoiled when it comes to sex. It’s just easier for us to get what we want, so often times women feel like they are getting the bad end of this deal we call “marriage.”
Learning how to be a good husband can be hard enough, but disciplining yourself to give your spouse something nice and not expect anything in return is a good start. I’ve learned that with the magic of massage you can increase the fairness in your relationship.
Every woman I know has the same reaction when you offer them a massage. They get excited and almost instantly fall in love with you, momentarily at least. It’s not even a question of whether or not they want one, you know they do, but a lot of men are too embarrassed to do it. You have to expand your boundaries of course, but it will be worth it in the end because you will end up in a healthier, longer lasting relationship. Don’t be afraid to offer her a massage and be ready to see her smile when you do.
In the beginning of my parents’ relationship, they were fine like everyone else, because the first two years always make it seem like the couple will last forever. After a few more years passed they started getting into more arguments, nothing too toxic or serious, but you could tell something was missing in their marriage. My father decided to do something about it and that’s when he started offering my mom a massage. It was like giving a plant in an Egyptian dessert some water … their relationship seemed to be ten times better than it was just a week ago. It wasn’t long until she started offering him a massage every once in a while and now it’s like a ritual they perform every night. It was a beautiful thing to see, and a good lesson for me to remember when I find a companion.
There are some concerns people may have about this idea. Some men might be worried that they will disappoint their spouse with poor technique. YouTube is the best place to learn if you are really worried about this. There are thousands upon thousands of videos there with guides on massage techniques that are easy to learn and sort of relaxing to watch. You might want to mix it up for your spouse by working the shoulders and back one day then working the feet and calves the next, then hands and forearm another day. With YouTube it’s really easy to pick up simple and effective techniques that will relax your spouse for sure.
Another concern is that some men might think that their wife thinks they are only doing this temporarily and expecting something in return, like sex. Just keep it up, expect nothing in return and eventually they will realize that what you are doing is enhancing your relationship and creating a more toxic free environment. Not only are women are complicated, people in general are complicated, so just be sincere when you go about this and let them understand that you are doing this for us and not just to distract her from something or to get something in return. Patience is the only thing that will get you through this.
Seeing my parents’ marriage improve so much in a short amount of time convinced me that if more couples took part in giving each other a massage that they would have a healthier relationship. It doesn’t seem like it will make a difference until you go do it, just like a lot of things in life. Telling someone that they look good can make their day, holding a door open for someone can even make people feel better, and I think if a husband can give their spouse a massage once every other day or whatever you want the schedule to be, that it can balance out your relationship and make it last longer.
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