Single dad Scott Biggs loves the holidays. This year he is making the best of them with time with his kids, and time for himself
After a beautiful snowfall last weekend, I ventured into my attic to poke around and take inventory of my Christmas decorations. I even was motivated to set some things out, but I still have storage tubs in my garage. Even with a cluttered garage, I am officially in the holiday spirit. Yes, I could do without the endless Christmas songs that have already started on the radio and am dreading presents wrapping but for now, I cannot wait for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. I love the holidays, especially because I enjoy special time with my kids, family, and friends. I have countless holiday memories and look forward to creating many more.
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When you are divorced, the holidays can be a challenge, especially when you cannot always be with your children.
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I am recently divorced, and that might hurt my holiday spirit. I have to share my wonderful kids with my ex-wife. Before my divorce, I often wondered why this was a tough time of year for so many. Now, I know firsthand what it’s like to be alone during part of the holidays. This is the second year I will be alone at times over the next month and reminded that I don’t have the idyllic Norman Rockwell family I always thought I would. When you are divorced, the holidays can be a challenge, especially when you cannot always be with your children.
Even with good reason to be sad, I am going to choose to be happy this holiday season. I am able to have stress free holidays now that I am divorced. First of all, I don’t have to deal with the tension I used to have with my ex-wife. Also, I won’t have to rush and can take my time with holiday tasks. Last year, I cleaned up after Christmas day and put away all of the decorations when the kids were gone. It was so nice to spend time with my kids and worry about the holiday chores at another time. I plan to do the same this year to help dodge any loneliness I might feel. Finally, I’m going to plan for some downtime of my own. I think these are good reasons to look forward to the holidays and will allow me to be a happy, attentive, and relaxed father to my kids.
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Let’s face it, people get divorced because they don’t get along. When I was married, the holidays were stressful. My ex-wife and I would often butt heads. I do not have that any longer. Now, I can decorate my house the way I want, buy the kids what I think they would like, and leave the house a mess after we open up our gifts if I choose to do so. I no longer have to walk on egg shells during the holidays and spend time with my in-laws. I make our holiday plans and don’t have to run anything by anyone. I get to spend time with my family without any complaints. Last year was wonderful, and I know this year will also be great with only positivity at my house.
Being apart from your children is hard, but it gives you time to relax and recharge your batteries. The holidays give adults opportunities to socialize with other adults, so why not take advantage of it when you are alone?
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Being apart from your children is hard, but it gives you time to relax and recharge your batteries. The holidays give adults opportunities to socialize with other adults, so why not take advantage of it when you are alone? I am going to go out with friends and attend parties and then sleep in and drink coffee the next day. I am also going to binge on Netflix and Amazon Prime and watch some shows that I have been dying to see by myself. I am going to take advantage of the downtime I have at the holidays with being off of work and not having the kids. I think any divorced parent deserves that.
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It is easy for divorced parents to dread the holidays, but I am encouraging you to take a different approach. Enjoy being responsible for your children and your home when you are able. Enjoy the opportunity to do things you need to get done at your own pace, because you have the time. Enjoy your free time when you have nothing going on. It will make you a better person. Things are not perfect as a divorced parent, but make them as good as you can for your kids and yourself.
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