How to Become 10X More Confident

A Moment That Changed Everything

“Order a pizza,” my mom said.
But instead of dialing, I handed the phone to my older brother. I was too shy to talk to a stranger. That small moment marked something bigger: I lacked confidence.

Fast forward to college — I cried in my dorm room, too homesick to attend parties, too scared to go to class. What confidence behaviors did I need to chase my dreams? Nowhere in sight.

The Problem: The Confidence Gap

“Fast-forward to college: I spent weeks crying in my dorm room, too homesick to party. The one frat party I attended made me want to abandon my dreams.”
“When I looked at confident students pursuing their goals, I wanted that too, but my behaviors didn’t align.
Crying, avoiding class, doubting myself, these weren’t getting me closer to my dream of becoming a sports executive.”
“Research shows: To change, you must start with behaviors, not attitudes. Confidence follows action.”

The Problem: Wanting More, But Feeling Less

I looked around campus and saw students thriving, heads held high, chasing ambitions. I wanted what they had. But:

I avoided social situations.
I skipped classes, afraid I wasn’t smart enough.
I cried more than I connected.

My behavior didn’t match the confident person I wanted to be.

The Breakthrough: Behavior First, Then Attitude

Research confirms: If you want to change your attitude, start with your behavior.

Ask yourself:

Who am I now?
Who do I want to become?
How does that future version of me behave?

For me, the answer was clear: I wanted a meaningful career as a sports executive. And that meant building confidence from the ground up.

The Solution: 6 Behaviors to Build Unshakable Confidence

Count Yourself In:
“Three, two, one — go. I used this to confront a baseball manager about his team’s wrong uniforms. Awkward? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely.”
20 Seconds of Courage:
“I hit ‘publish’ on my podcast while sitting on my closet floor. The world kept turning — and it grew into what it was meant to be.”
Take a Seat at the Table:
“Literally. Stop waiting on the edges. A top baseball agent told me this changed her career.”
Cheer for Others’ Success:
“Confident people aren’t threatened. Adopt Amy Poehler’s mantra: ‘Good for her, not for me.’”
Anchor in Past Wins:
“A woman landed a promotion by reviewing her past accolades before pitching her boss. Confidence is born in what you’ve already done.”
Celebrate Constantly:
“Create highlight reels of your wins. Rewire your brain to link success with joy, not stress.”

…

Practice: Your Turn to Act

Today: Use the “3–2–1” count to start a conversation you’ve been avoiding.
This Week: Celebrate someone else’s win publicly. Notice how it shifts your mindset.
Ongoing: Keep a “Win Jar” where you document small victories. Revisit it when doubt creeps in.

CTA: Step Into Your Confidence

👏 Clap if you’ve ever handed the “phone” to someone else out of fear.
💬 Comment on which behavior you’ll try first, or share a time when 20 seconds of courage changed everything.
➕ Follow for more unfiltered strategies to own your confidence.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.