How to Calm a Fussy Baby With a 9 Step Algorithm

Babies are fairly standardized and uncomplicated in the end. Here’s the basic flow chart I have used when I’m faced with a fussy baby:

BREATHING

DIAPER

HUNGER

GAS

TEMPERATURE

POSITION

PACIFIER

CUDDLE

IRRITANT

Now, to elaborate on each step of the process:

Could it be obstructed breathing?

This is first not because it’s most likely, but because it takes two literal seconds to check off the list. Newborns are obligate nasal breathers, so a couple of crusty boogers in tiny nostrils can make them a fussy baby fast. Give your baby’s nostrils a quick scan right out of the gate so you can go on to other possibilities.

If you do have a plug, it’s either wet or dry. For wet mucus, I’d recommend a NoseFrida. (If you have lung capacity issues or another reason you don’t want a manual option, they do make an electric version.) For dry boogers and foreign objects, I’d recommend an OogieBear. Something like a Q-Tip can be too big for newborn noses especially.

Is it a soiled diaper?

Another quick check. I know it gets exhausting when it feels like you’re going through a diaper every sixteen minutes, but don’t cheap out or get lazy — leaving your baby in a nasty diaper will break their skin down, decrease their ability to settle into a deep sleep, and increase infection risk. If every diaper you’re pulling off a baby is waterlogged, you’re doing it wrong. There will be plenty of instances over time when you’re forced into floating a wet diaper for whatever reason or aren’t aware of how soiled a diaper really is, so don’t make that choice when you can help it. The Golden Rule is helpful here.

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Is it hunger?

I’ve found this to be one of the more likely culprits. Don’t operate out of incredulity thinking it couldn’t possibly be hunger based on their last meal – babies can cluster feed at particular parts of the day and of their development process. If you’re bottle feeding, let your baby dictate when they’re done eating – they know when they’ve had enough, so don’t take a bottle away that they’re still interested in or badger them into finishing the last of a bottle. You’ll know they’re done when they’re giving you signs like turning their head away, pushing the nipple out of their mouth, or dozing off.

If you and your partner are breastfeeding (I put it that way for a reason, it truly takes everybody involved), communication is key. You may think you’re doing your partner a favor by letting them sleep while you give your baby formula, but a nursing mother may need to feed in order to stay comfortable. Skipping feeding sessions like this can cause engorgement, which is an uncomfortable “backing up” of milk supply that can cause a host of other issues. If your partner gives you guidance on when to wake or alert them to feed, don’t disregard it thinking you’re being chivalrous.

Is your baby gassy?

Try burping a fussy baby, even far removed from a feed. In addition to the patting methods, sometimes working a baby’s legs in a bicycling motion can work gas out. When Sprocket was a baby she’d sometimes act like an old man — woke up grumpy, wouldn’t say why, ripped a big fart, went back to sleep. Sometimes if you lend a hand with step three you’ll get to step four a lot faster.

If manual burping isn’t doing the trick, there are a number of products you can try. Simethicone is an anti-foaming agent which is safe for babies; it works by breaking the surface tension of the bubbles in your baby’s stomach and letting them burp the released air out. You can also try probiotics to promote optimal gut health and potentially prevent excessive gas in the first place. There are even devices to physically get the air out if it’s gotten most of the way out but Baby is having a hard time finally passing.

Is it too hot or cold for their comfort?

Sometimes a clothing change or a hat is all they need. If an environment is slightly anything (warm, cool, drafty, humid) to you, it’s likely magnified many fold for them. If your baby is sweating or has an extremity that feels cold to your touch, something needs adjusted.

Are they in an uncomfortable position?

I found putting Sprocket on her belly for a bit could distract and reset her. Try changing the orientation of a fussy baby, or where they are in a room. It might be something you can’t perceive from your perspective, like glaring light or something in the room they can’t make sense of that’s upsetting them. Changing positions can also encourage gas to work its way out of one end or the other.

Do they need a pacifier?

If you use them, station several in high traffic areas of your house. Sometimes it’s like a fussy baby just needs to burn off some nervous energy, and there aren’t many routes for that beyond tummy time or a soother. We bounced around a few different styles with Sprocket, but our go-to with Tater has been from the Bibs company. If you’re shopping colors, make sure you get a night version – they have excellent glow in the dark handles which work for a long time.

Do they need a cuddle?

Try stripping a fussy baby down to a diaper and cradling him on your bare forearm. If he’ll settle, drape a blanket over him and let him soak up the warmth of skin to skin touch. It isn’t a silver bullet, but sometimes it helps refocus attention. Once he’s properly settled, you can try moving him to a sleeping surface.

Might it be some kind of irritant?

Sometimes there’s something irritating a baby that you can’t figure out at a glance. If you’ve done all of the above and still have a fussy baby, you should rule out other possibilities. A very incomplete list of things to check for:

Stray objects in the diaper
Anything stuck their mouth
Anything in their eyes (eyelash, etc.)
Hair wrapped around a finger or toe
Something hard they’re lying on (like a buckle in a swing)
A splinter in their skin
A chipped fingernail they’re scratching themselves with

Utilize this algorithm, but also recognize you can exhaust it and still have a fussy baby. It can be wildly frustrating for there to not be a cause and effect nature to crying, but some babies have a phase during which there is no discernible solution to calm them. Consult information on the period of PURPLE crying for some help if this is the case for your baby, and know that it does have an end – this isn’t your life forever.

Remember, crying is your baby’s first language. You’ll have to meet them more than halfway for a long while, but your investment will be worth it, I promise.

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This post was previously published on The Unbothered Father.

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