Share your vision. Hear and support your partner’s. Your successes away from home will likely be a reflection of the support you give each other.
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Life can be a battleground. You’ll rarely achieve much that’s memorable or significant without help. And often the best encouragement to do well doesn’t come from those we work with, but from our life partners.
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It’s important to illustrate your path, especially if your partner isn’t in your field.
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Work colleagues understand the nuts and bolts of any process we spend our day on, but often not the emotional cost of it. Thus, it’s usually the help and belief of those we love that provides the extra ‘oomph’ to get through the challenges we face.
Whether you’re serving your community or country as a plumber, pastor or politician, you know you need to send clear messages about the way you contribute if you want others to support your initiatives.
Intuitively, you know this is no less important at home.
However, ‘out there’, neither boss nor client will demand you pay more attention to your home life. Your partner and the promises you made can easily get neglected.
And yet, it’s likely your relationship will be much more satisfying if you can both celebrate the milestones of life’s journey.
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It’s important to illustrate your path, especially if your partner isn’t in your field.
My partner is an artist. She understands my creative urge, my need for solitude and the long, complex process involved in building something new. We’re both fortunate; there are some things we just don’t have to explain.
But maybe your spouse has very different strengths and works in a completely different field, with little understanding of your challenges, or the reasons why your goals are meaningful to you.
If you have similar values, you’ll find understanding is easier to reach, as most of life’s journeys are made to explore and uphold values.
Share your aims and rationale. Be realistic about the time commitments you foresee, and the payoff you expect. This isn’t the time to fudge it. If you don’t know the future cost of what you’re attempting‑and much of life isn’t able to be seen ahead of time‑say so.
Remember that the cost of goals isn’t so much the monetary investment it takes to go for them, or even the time they take, it’s the things we have to ignore along the way.
The cost of your career might include missing your children’s sports days or anniversary after anniversary . . .
Keeping your word keeps people onside.
Too much work might not make Jack dull, but Jack’s partner will lose interest in him‑-and his dream-if she’s never number one.
Chasing a dream may take years; don’t wait till you’ve achieved it to plan enjoyment on the road together. Sometimes life ends early, too.
Your priorities may often be ‘work first’, but decide when you’ll spend time and resources to compensate for that. And then show up.
It’s very easy to work late; creative projects can take every hour you have and still not tire you mentally. Once you start something and get rolling, you may not want the day to end.
But the one who’s waiting for you will get tired.
If your partner matters, you have to show it. Your relationship needs sustenance just as much as your pet project demands it.
Any project, goal or career will be over eventually. But will your partner still have shining eyes for you when you cease spending all your emotional energy on whatever meant so much?
You build belief in your word with your time and attention.
Some years, life seems to go well. Other years, it’s a struggle. People die, ventures fail, and so on.
You’ll work longer and likely be stressed during these seasons. And any faith your partner has in you is harder to keep alive if you’ve not built up goodwill; if you’ve always put them second.
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When your partner gives your dream priority, reciprocate.
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It’s how your dreams get appreciated and supported.
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Why are you together? Surely it’s because there is‑-or was‑-a spark that drew you to connect, and stay connected. And your partner wants as much of you as they can get, so if you have a dream, you’re chasing, ensure you don’t forget the importance of sharing your time and energy.
Many people are so focused on their art or research or entrepreneurial pursuits that their home interactions become an irritation.
But your spouse is holding up one end of your relationship while you’re off ladder-climbing or innovating. And they may have a stressful, challenging career of their own as well.
Share yourself; this opens you up to be understood. It’s how your dreams get appreciated and supported.
Everyone can recall a time they failed badly. I certainly can.
When stuff happens, the ‘first responder’ is often the one we love. A partner helps us to refocus and reminds us of the value of our efforts.
We draw strength from our partners, and we’re emboldened and renewed to fight again in the morning.
Emotional connections grow when nurtured.
Share your vision. Hear and support your partner’s. Your successes away from home will likely be a reflection of the support you give each other.
Does your partner understand how much their support means to you? How do you show this, and what has it gained you?
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: Shutterstock
