Everyone hopes that they will find the right person in their life, who will accept them for who they are and do their part to create a healthy, loving foundation. Though many people find people they want to say “I do” to, statistics show that many marriages don’t last. Though the numbers can be daunting, there are ways you can show up for your partner to create a healthy dynamic and sustainable marriage.
Though there are stereotypes around how men should behave in relationships, it’s important to be willing to reflect on how your behavior affects your partnership. Sometimes it takes a little self-care, extra effort and patience to move through rough patches and embrace the ways that you can hold power in the comfort of your relationship.
If you and your spouse are having trouble communicating, online therapy like BetterHelp can help move you in the right direction. Every marriage can benefit from the support of a licensed therapist to help you and your partner meet each other’s needs. Though therapy is often sought out by couples going through a tough time, speaking to a professional before things become challenging can be a healthy, preventative step to keep your relationship on track.
Quality Time
Remember when you and your partner used to go on dates, make time for each other, and make extra effort to show how much you care for each other? Over time, life can get in the way of important quality time. Though every marriage has ups and downs, carving out time for quality time can make a big impact on the health of your relationship long term.
This doesn’t have to be grand gestures or expensive dinner dates. Even something as simple as spending the night on the couch watching a movie and eating popcorn can help maintain your close bond. Taking time to turn off your phones and show each other that quality time is important for both of you can help you feel supported, comforted, and close to each other.
If you have kids, consider getting them a babysitter, or having them go to a family member. These moments of intimate time together are essential for a marriage to thrive. By creating a “bubble” around the two of you, you can open yourself up to fun, deep conversations, and a moment to enjoy each other’s company
Communication
Though the phrase “communication is key” can make some people roll their eyes, there is merit in the sentiment behind it. For any marriage to be sustainable, communication must be a priority for both you and your partner. By being able to talk openly about your thoughts and feelings, you can lay the groundwork for difficult conversations to be productive.
Everyone learns how to communicate in different ways. This can be traced back to the way a person was raised, and the ways that they’ve been treated in past relationships. Learning the communication styles that can help you and your partner work through conflict in an effective way can help you feel stronger in the long run.
Communication about positive things is just as, if not more, important for a healthy marriage. By continuously showing support for your partner and making an effort to complement their strides and efforts, you can create a loving dynamic.
Support When It Isn’t Always Easy
One of the most important foundational elements in a healthy marriage is the ability to be there for each other, even when it’s difficult. There may be times when you don’t agree with your partner’s choices or enjoy the way they handled a particular situation. Even if it’s different from how you would have dealt with it, it’s important to respect your partner’s independence and show up for them when they need it.
It’s often in the darkest of times that we find the strongest appreciation for the people that love us. By being your spouse’s team member, ally and place of comfort, you can deepen the emotional bond between you. It can be challenging watching someone you love go through difficult times, but the way you handle these moments together can alter the course of your relationship. Life can bring challenges for all of us, and by being there to care for your partner, you build a supportive environment for them to grow from it.
It’s important to note that if your partner’s behavior is hurtful or inappropriate, it’s also crucial that you hold them accountable. Though it may be challenging to have these conversations at times, being able to communicate your feelings effectively is a different kind of support. By being honest and open with your partner – without holding resentment or lashing out – you can create a level of trust that’s important in any healthy marriage.
No Marriage Is Perfect
Take the pressure off yourself by accepting that no marriage is perfect. There will be moments of conflict, and moments of immense joy. Though your relationship shouldn’t be emotionally taxing or draining, there may be times when you must practice patience and make compromises. By accepting that your relationship will have ups and downs, you can alleviate any turmoil when it comes to hardship in your relationship.
Speaking to a therapist can be helpful for couples, whether they are working through a rough patch or not. By creating shared goals for your life and relationship, you can beat the odds and create a marriage that is loving and sustainable. Take time to understand each other, be patient with one another, and respect each other’s individuality. Marriage is a beautiful thing, and making it last is possible.
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