How to End a Toxic Relationship

IGNORE how the other person feels.

Empathy can be dangerous when you are in a toxic relationship. Often, we hold back from cutting people off and going cold on them because we care about how that would make them feel. Such an attitude only leads to suffering in a toxic relationship because while you are being sentimental about the other person’s feelings, you are losing touch with your own. Your kindness to them comes at the cost of your heart to yourself.

Do not hold back from being brutal.

When you try to end a relationship nicely, it leaves hope for the other person, and they believe you might still care. But, on the other hand, being completely honest and brutal will leave no doubt for them.

As School of Life says, the truly courageous way to leave is to allow yourself to be hated by someone you love.

I once had to cut a friend out because of his narcissistic tendencies, and my polite communication did not make a difference. He would still reach out, and the old behavior would start again after a while. One day, I dropped him a text, blocked him on Whatsapp, and added his number to the call block list. He tried to reach out after a month, and I did not want any contact with him. This was extremely difficult for me because I considered him a very close friend, but being brutal was the only effective way to end that relationship and cut his toxicity out of my life.

Create distance mandatorily.

The fear of being alone can force us to go back to people who never deserved us in the first place. It is during your weak moments that you feel the tendency to go back to your ex. When you make the decision to leave your partner, stop any form of communication. It helps both parties. For you, it will help you separate yourself from the negativity and let yourself show that you can do without them. When you firmly decide not to return to this person, you are forced to devise solutions that do not include them. That is real growth!

Have a support system.

While moving on from a toxic relationship, friends, family, and therapy can be your best friends. Having people around you who can be there for you in your most vulnerable times can help you with the process.

In my opinion, therapy is your best option. Talking to a professional helps with a few things:

They are trained and know the right things to say
Their job is to hear you and help you learn proven strategies and tools to deal with the change, which is not always the case with friends and family
They will not only guide you but can also hold you accountable for meeting milestones
The risk of them being tired of hearing Byou does not exist

Build a safety net and strive for growth.

Cutting a person out entails cutting the help that they brought along. Create a safety net that would cover the things you need that they provided in the relationship. It can be anything: would you need a new place to stay? Do you have the financial resources to sustain yourself? And the list is endless. What your safety net must include depends on the arrangement that you were in.

Focusing on growing and moving forward is the best strategy to overcome a breakup. This is the ideal moment to start that dream project you’ve been putting off or to pick up some new skills. Put all of the unpleasant emotional energy toward something productive. As a result, you will feel better about yourself, become much more independent, and have more self-confidence.

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Thanks for reading.

Check out my other pieces on relationships and life here: Bhanu Singhal

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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