Recently I read the article Women Say 80% of Men Are “Below Average”. As I was reading through, some familiar patterns started reappearing.
I noticed those before when trying to land a ‘dream’ job. Later I realized that those same patterns (re)appear in most if not all relationships.
I recognized them as fundamentals that compound into a bigger picture.
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A few years ago, I actively sought a better job. The process was ruthless and stressful but productive as well.
At some point, I realized I was doing it all wrong. I was looking in the wrong direction and needed to change my perspective and strategy.
Some patterns appeared, all combined by the same principles. And those shifted my view into a wholly different perspective.
Being extremely sensitive to small details and patterns, I discovered that those principles are fundamental to any successful relationship. Most people tend to overlook them.
Like in Facebook stories, everyone notices only the bliss and joy of others but fails to see the whole picture. There are principles that make those relationships happen/survive.
And you, too, can have it all.
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I listed five (six) of the principles I believe to be fundamental, described in separate articles (links included):
1. We always crave what we lack;
(and it never ends)
2. Everything in the Universe is simple and has its positive and negative sides;
(but we tend to complicate it, and, see things very subjectively)
3. There is no such thing as a free lunch;
(nobody gets a free pass, it does not exist)
4. We need diversity;
(everything strives toward balance)
5. Learn to manage your expectations.
(your expectations are the ones that produce disappointment).
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Ideal relationships are built, not found. Understanding the principles above will help you build relationships much easier, faster, and more joyful (disregarding exceptions not worth your effort).
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash