It’s a common complaint: men don’t understand women. And while there may be some truth to that, it’s actually more accurate to say that men don’t understand themselves.
Regarding dating, most guys focus on what they can do to make women like them. This is the wrong approach. If you want to have a successful dating life, you need to focus on yourself first and foremost. In this blog post, we’ll give you some tips for getting started.
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”
― Ernest Hemingway
1. Value Freedom Over Possessions
One of the most attractive things you can do is to be independent. This doesn’t mean that you have to be rich or have a successful career. It just means that you’re not relying on others to support you financially or emotionally.
One way to show your independence is by valuing freedom over possessions. For example, instead of buying a house, you could rent an apartment. Or instead of having a car payment, you could live in a city where you can get around without a car. These choices show that material possessions do not tie you down and that you value your freedom.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with owning things. But if you want to attract someone who’s interested in more than just your money, it’s important to show that you’re not a slave to your possessions.
2. Fulfill Your Purpose
One of the most attractive things you can do is to live a life that’s in line with your purpose. When you know what you want out of life and work towards it, you become very attractive to others.
People are attracted to those who have a sense of direction and who are passionate about something. If you’re not sure what your purpose is, start by exploring your interests and talents. What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? Once you have a better idea of what you want to do with your life, start taking steps to make it happen.
Living a purposeful life will not only make you more attractive to others, but it will also make you happier. And when you’re excited about waking up in the morning, you’re more likely to attract people who feel your energy and want to discover more about you.
3. Never Put Anyone on a Pedestal
When you meet someone you’re interested in, it’s easy to put them on a pedestal. You might think they’re perfect and that you could never measure up to them. But this is a dangerous mindset.
First of all, no one is perfect. Everyone has flaws and expecting perfection from another person sets you up for disappointment. Second, when you put someone on a pedestal, you give them power over you. They become the center of your world, and if they leave, you’ll be left shattered.
Instead of putting others on a pedestal, focus on yourself. Be confident in who you are, and don’t give anyone the power to control your happiness. On the contrary, when you’re secure in yourself, you’re much more likely to attract someone who’s interested in a long-term relationship.
4. Don’t Put All Your Eggs in One Basket
One of the biggest mistakes that men make when it comes to dating is putting all their eggs in one basket. They meet a girl they like, and they start pouring all their time and energy into her. This is a mistake for two reasons.
First, investing all your time and energy into one person is never a good idea. You need to have other things going on in your life to maintain your independence and protect yourself from getting hurt. Second, it’s often difficult to make a relationship work when you’re putting all your focus on the other person.
For instance, taking classes on hobbies or subjects you’re interested in is a great way to expand your knowledge and make new friends. This will help you be more well-rounded, which is attractive to potential partners.
5. Understand That You Are in Control of Your Life and Your Happiness
This may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s an important realization. If you’re not happy with your life, it’s up to you to change it. Don’t wait for someone else to make you happy — that’s not their job. When you take responsibility for your own happiness, you’ll find that you’re much more attractive to others.
Once you’ve realized that you’re in control of your own life, it’s time to start taking action. Start working on yourself. Start making changes if there are areas of your life that you’re not happy with. Maybe you want to get in better shape or learn how to cook or improve your social skills. Whatever it is, take small steps every.
Atomic Habits by James Clear discusses the power of small actions in more detail. In short, changing your habits is essential to changing your life. And the best way to change your habits is to start small by developing systems that’ll help you reach your goals.
“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
― Jim Rohn
Asthe saying goes, if you try to chase a rabbit, you’ll never catch it. The same is true of women. If you focus all your attention on trying to attract women, you’re likely to end up frustrated and disappointed.
Instead, focus on becoming the best version of yourself. When you’re happy with your life and feel good about yourself, women will be naturally attracted to you. And when you meet someone special, you can decide whether or not to put your energy into building a healthy and lasting relationship.
In the end, no matter what you do, always remember that you are in control of your life and your happiness. Don’t wait around for someone else to make you happy — take action and start working on yourself. When you do, you’ll not only be happier, but you’ll also be more attractive to others.
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”
― Aldous Huxley
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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