How to Know You’re Like a Puppet Wrapped Around Her Fingers

Dating a manipulative partner can be difficult to recognize, especially if you are in love with the person. Manipulative people exploit their partners. They can leave you utterly lost and confused.

If your girlfriend is manipulative, she will try to control every aspect of your life. She will try to detect what you say, how you act, what you wear, who you should be friends with, and sometimes she may interfere in your relationship with your family.

Manipulative people are selfish. They always think of what benefits them first and if you are not giving them what they want, they can become verbally and sometimes physically abusive.

A healthy relationship involves plenty of giving and taking. If you give your partner the love and support they need, they should be able to give the same in return.

However, if your partner takes and takes without giving in return and you feel uncomfortable doing some of the things they ask of you, it’s possible you are being manipulated.

In this case, you need to take a step back and observe what is going on. If you noticed two or more of the signs I will be discussing shortly, then you are being manipulated for sure.

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Why do we manipulate others when we could easily ask or say something as honestly as it is?

According to psychologists, Machiavellianism is a major personality trait associated with Dark Triads.

Dark triads are characterized by three distinctive personalities, Psychopathy, Narcissism, and Machiavellianism. With these three personalities overlapping each other, dark triads can be sadistic and entitled because there is no telling how far they can go to maximize their desires at the expense of other people.

Machiavellianism on one hand is closely associated with manipulation. This personality trait is used to describe individuals who deceive and trick other people to a nice their goals.

Machiavellianism is mostly tied to high intelligence. Psychologists refer to a person as “High Mach,” when they display highly manipulative behavior.

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They will say or do anything to get their way. And they are very good at hiding their true character. They act impulsively and may engage in dangerous behaviors, and commit crimes without considering who they hurt in the process.

So if your partner is a Machiavellian, you will notice some of these signs.

They don’t give you time to think over their request

If your girlfriend is a manipulator she will not let you think things through. She may ask you to buy her a new shoe or book her a ticket to Casablanca and will expect you to say “yes” immediately without giving you time to consider if the timing is convenient for you.

She might try to smooth talk you into doing her bidding, especially if the request doesn’t align with your character.

If she makes a request that you don’t feel comfortable with, tell her you’re going to think about it and insist on that decision no matter how offended she may be.

They emotionally blackmail you

When we love a person, sometimes we intentionally exploit their weakness. Women do this more often. She knows you love her, so she will prey on that to get what she wants.

Has your girlfriend ever threatened to break up with you if you don’t get her xyz? Or refuse to have sex because you didn’t buy her a gift on her birthday?

Well, that’s a typical example of manipulation. You will notice she often used phrases like “if you don’t want me to kill myself, you should do xyz” or “I will leave you if don’t promise me….” to emotionally trap you into doing something she wants.

It’s not healthy for your partner to use emotional blackmail to suck you in. And if she does this constantly, you might wanna rethink your options and decide if you want to be with such a woman long-term.

They demand financial favors

I get the fact that it’s in a man’s nature to be the provider. Because of this, men feel responsible for their woman’s happiness, and the easiest way for them to prove this is by giving in to every demand the woman makes. And if he can’t meet her demands, he feels weak and worthless.

Women, on the other hand, have learned to exploit this weakness in men. Sometimes men don’t recognize they are being exploited because the woman will make a big request and then follow it up with a smaller one. The man is forced to fulfill one of the two demands — the one he can afford quickly.

You may think you had a choice, however, you didn’t. She made your choice for you without giving you time to rationally think things through.

They are often defensive when confronted

I know a friend who likes shading crocodile tears whenever her boyfriend catches up with her cheating act. I’ve watched her guilt trip the guy many times, and in the end, he apologizes for accusing her falsely.

Manipulators are good at acting when they want to cover up their bad behavior. So manipulation is a way they control their partners. They may fake tears, shout and scream, rage and destroy properties, or even use sarcasm to make you believe or do anything they say.

If your parter is manipulating you, chances are you will miss this red flag because the emotions they display will look real.

They make you feel incompetent

Your partner doesn’t hesitate to condemn your actions no matter how confident you are with your decision. They think you need their advice before making any decision, if not you will fail.

Men may like being in a position of authority, but when the case is reversed, some men take it as a blow to their ego. Feelings of incompetence can make a man feel less of a man. A woman who constantly criticizes you and puts you in an awkward position should be considered a manipulative woman. So if your girlfriend makes you question your judgment, that can’t be healthy for your relationship.

You should be free to share your beliefs or how you feel about something, but having your actions and character questioned all the time is a sign of toxic behavior.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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