Are you wondering how to stop being a people pleaser? It turns out that you can become more confident while still giving people what they want through your own self-empowerment and a change in perspective.
How do you turn, what most people believe to be, a doormat attitude into that of empowerment?
People pleasing is draining, demeaning, and unrewarding. Yet, many of us were trained so well to do just that. You might even feel that you will never be able to turn that program around.
Who says you have to? Why not start with where you are by using what you do best to help you take the next step toward the empowerment you truly desire and deserve? How do you do this?
From my experience, I created a 4-step process that will help you empower yourself with ease and fun.
Being empowered really starts with confidence. So, once you learn how to be more confident in yourself and your people-pleasing ways, you can embrace this part of yourself with no shame.
To learn how to stop being a people pleaser, become more confident, and empower yourself (while still making others happy) make sure to:
1. Change your perspective and attitude
By changing your attitude and perspective about your job, you will develop a clear understanding that there is a difference between pleasing others and simply doing what your job requires you to do.
If you have been a devoted people pleaser in the past, you are probably better able to know what your job requires and able to do it easier than someone who has never played that game before. And chances are, you are able to hold a higher and more longstanding position in the company you work for.
You can be counted on to do it the way they want it done, putting your own ideas aside for the time being.
Allow yourself to go to work every day with the awareness that you are a valuable employee as a people pleaser and find reasons to be grateful for the job you have.
Being grateful is an excellent way to shift your perspective about your job and you will be recognized even more for bringing this positive attitude to work with you every day.
2. Value your own ideas and visions
You do not need to “sell your soul” to work for someone else. They are blessed to have you. They may or may not even know you have gifts and ideas that will help them and their company prosper or even work more efficiently.
They do know that you have the company’s best interest at heart and you will notice how open they are to your suggestions and ideas once you begin changing your perspective.
Simply take your inspired ideas to a deeper level of creativity, giving yourself the best of both worlds by discovering productive and non-threatening ways to present or even implement them so that everyone wins in the process.
This comes from using your own creative intuition to the max and usually entails gathering some hardcore facts, showing on paper how it could work better, and being prepared to answer every possible question about it.
Your sense of timing is the critical part of being able to present or even implement your own inspired ideas about a project, work plan or process.
Follow your gut feelings and be willing to do this in a moments notice when the door is open and when what you have discovered in Step 2 is ready to share.
Practice what you will say and have all your documentation organized so that when the time is right you can confidently present it all at any moment.
4. Don’t give up
Even if your idea isn’t received or accepted the first, second, or third time, you have the ability to go back to the drawing board with the feedback they gave you and use it to fuel a clearer vision of any modifications you need to make.
Listen to why they say it doesn’t work for them and ask them what they want or need instead. Go back to Step 2 and expand your creativity even more, including ways to modify your idea that include more of what they do want.
Do your research, documentation, practice what you will say and then wait for that perfect opportunity to present what you discover.
This process can feel very empowering and takes people pleasing to a new level of opening up to your creativity. So when they say, “Jump!” and you say “How high?”, it comes from a space of expansion and empowerment.
This post was previously published on [name of site] and is republished here with permission from the author.
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