How To Make the Best Out of Your Relationships

Weall know the feeling of reciprocity: when someone does something nice for us, we feel inclined to do something nice in return. It’s a basic human instinct, and it forms the foundation of many of our social relationships. But did you know that there are three different types of reciprocity?

Understanding these types can help you get more out of your personal and professional relationships. In this blog post, we’ll explore the three types of reciprocity and how you can use them to your advantage.

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
― Carl Gustav Jung

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Part I: What is reciprocity?

Reciprocity is the act of exchanging favors or giving and receiving in return. There are three different types of reciprocity: giver, taker, and matcher. In order to get the most out of your relationships, you need to be aware of what kind of reciprocity each person prefers.

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Part II: The Three Reciprocity Types

1. The Altruistic Type (The Giver)

The first type of reciprocity is what we might call “altruistic reciprocity.” This is when we do something nice for someone expecting nothing in return. We might do this for a close friend, family member, or even a stranger. The act itself is its own reward. These people tend to be very generous and are always looking for ways to help others.

The pros of altruistic type

The advantages of altruistic reciprocity are that it’s selfless and can make the world a better place. It’s a great way to show people that you care without expecting anything in return.

The cons of the altruistic type

The downside of altruistic reciprocity is that it can be taken advantage of. If you’re always the one giving and never receiving, you might start to feel used or taken for granted. It’s important to set boundaries and make sure that your act of kindness is reciprocated in some way, even if it’s just a simple thank-you.

How do you show an Altruistic type?

If you want to show altruistic reciprocity, look for ways to help others without expecting anything in return. This could be as simple as holding the door open for someone or giving a compliment. You can also volunteer your time or donate to causes that are important to you.

2. The Taker Type

The second type of reciprocity is “taker reciprocity.” These people tend to be very self-centered and often have difficulty maintaining long-term relationships. This is when they look to exploit every person they meet for their own gain. They might do this by taking advantage of someone’s generosity or by making promises they never intend to keep.

The pros of the taker type

The advantage of taker reciprocity is that it can help you get what you want in life. If you’re always looking out for your own interests, you’re more likely to achieve your goals.

However, it’s essential to be careful not to take advantage of people. If you’re consistently exploiting others, they’ll eventually catch on and will no longer want to help you.

The cons of the taker type

The downside of taker reciprocity is that it’s selfish and can alienate those around you. People will eventually catch on and stop wanting to help you if you’re always taking and never giving. This can make it difficult to form and maintain long-term relationships.

In addition, the taker reciprocity is that it’s manipulative and dishonest — people who always take and never give eventually become known as users or selfish people. Taker reciprocity can also backfire if you’re not careful. If you take advantage of someone too much, they may retaliate by doing something to hurt you.

How does the taker type show itself?

Taker reciprocity always looks out for its own interests and takes advantage of those around them. This could be as simple as taking credit for someone else’s work or promising something they can’t deliver.

It’s crucial for them to be careful not to take advantage of people excessively, or they may retaliate against them. While the taker type may have some short-term benefits, it’s ultimately not a sustainable way to live. Sooner or later, people will catch on and stop wanting to help the taker.

3. The Matcher Type

The third and final type of reciprocity is “matcher reciprocity.” This is when we only give if we know we will receive something of equal value in return. Matchers tend to be more balanced in their approach to giving and receiving and, as a result, usually have healthier relationships.

The pros of the matcher type

Matcher reciprocity is fair and honest. People will trust you more if you only give when you know you’ll receive something in return. This can lead to healthier relationships because there’s a sense of equality between the two parties.

Furthermore, matcher reciprocity can help prevent exploitation. If you’re always looking out for your own interests, you’re less likely to be taken advantage of.

The cons of the matcher type

However, matcher reciprocity can also be seen as selfish. If you’re only giving to receive something in return, you might be viewed as greedy or self-centered.

In addition, matcher reciprocity can lead to unnecessary conflicts if both parties are always trying to get a better deal. For example, if you’re always trying to get more than what you give, it might create tension in your relationships.

How do you show a Matcher type?

Matchers are always looking out for their interests and ensuring they receive something of equal value in return. This could be as simple as making sure you get paid back for a favor or only helping someone if you know they’ll do the same for you.

While matcher reciprocity can be beneficial, it’s essential not to take advantage of others and match the equal value given and received. It’s vital for matches to be honest about their intentions. If you’re always trying to get more than what you offer, people will eventually notice and might not want to help you anymore.

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“Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.” — Anthony J. D’Angelo

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Part III: The Aftermath

How can you use this knowledge to your advantage?

Now that you know the three different types of reciprocity, you can use this knowledge to your advantage. If you’re trying to form a long-term relationship, acting more like a matcher might be beneficial. This way, you can build trust and prevent exploitation.

On the other hand, I personally wouldn’t recommend acting like a taker. In addition, be careful not to take advantage of people too much, or you may lose their trust (and potentially their business), and you take on way more risk of it backfiring on you negatively in life.

Moreover, a giver type of reciprocity should only be used if you’re sure that the other person is also a giver or if you don’t mind expecting anything in return from that person.

So what’s the best reciprocity style?

There’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to reciprocity styles. It ultimately depends on your personality and what you’re comfortable with. However, I would argue that matcher reciprocity is the best way to go because it’s fair and honest and can help prevent exploitation.

Additionally, a giver may also be a great option, but only if you’re sure that the other person is worth the chance or if you’re not afraid to take a risk. Otherwise, you might end up feeling used or taken advantage of.

Nevertheless, it’s important to find a balance between the three types of reciprocity. Too much of any one kind can lead to problems in our relationships. It’s best to mix things up and show different types of reciprocity depending on the situation.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” — Wayne Dyer

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The Bottom Line

Reciprocity is a powerful tool that can be used to improve your relationships, but only if you are aware of the different types and how to use them effectively. Therefore, it is crucial to be mindful of the different types of reciprocity because it can help you better understand how to get more out of your relationships.

Which type do you think is most sustainable in the long run? Why? Let me know in the comments below. Do you have any stories about reciprocity gone wrong? I’d love to hear them! As always, feel free to share them in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

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This post was researched and inspired by these sources:

This content is for informational purposes only. It was not created to be a substitute for professional guidance, diagnosis, or treatment. Not all information may be accurate. Consider consulting with a professional or a specialist.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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