Do you go on dates that don’t lead anywhere? Just a chit-chat, a “nice to meet you” and a hug goodbye?
I’ve been there — and the first step to fixing this problem is to accept that it’s your fault.
These tips will help you to spice up your boring dates and inspire women to want to see you again.
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1. Flirt!
Most boring dates occur due to a man not flirting.
A lot of men are worried about making a move too fast. Some want to wait for a ‘sign’ that a woman is ready to be touched, kissed or complimented.
But, as a man, it’s your role to LEAD! This means it’s your job to initiate the flirting and to make the date interesting.
You can call it unfair, but those are the cards you were dealt.
The key is to start slowly and see how she reacts. If she reacts well, push it forward at a pace she’s comfortable with. If she cringes or freezes up, STOP what you’re doing, get to know each other better and try again later.
If you don’t flirt at all, she’ll think you’re not attracted or too cowardly to show it. Good luck landing a second date when she feels like that.
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2. Don’t be afraid to be different
Being the same as everyone else is boring by definition.
Yet, so many guys hide their true personalities and play this persona of a ‘cool’ mainstream guy.
Forget that! Tell your date about your unique hobbies. Share your unique sense of humour. By staying true to yourself, you’ll find the women who LOVE you for you. That’s what you need in 2023 and beyond. Women don’t settle for guys they ‘kinda like’ anymore.
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3. Don’t filter yourself
If an outrageous joke comes to your head, make it. If a cool story pops up, tell it.
Don’t filter your true personality just in case she doesn’t like it. For all you know, she has a dorky sense of humor too. Most people do — and having the social freedom to tell these jokes can be attractive.
It certainly beats being bland.
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4. Share your passions
When we talk about our passions with full enthusiasm, a fire lights inside of us. It draws people in, even if they previously had no interest in the topic. Women love to date passionate men, so let your date know what you’re passionate about.
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5. Use assumptions instead of questions
Interview questions are a staple of boring dates.
“What do you do for work?”
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
“What type of music do you like?”
Yes, you want to get to know her. But you won’t come off as unique or interesting by asking the questions she’s heard 1,000 times.
A simple way around this is to turn your questions into assumptions. Tell her she looks like the sort of girl who says she enjoys hip-hop but doesn’t know any of the songs. That’s just an example. But the more specific you are, the better.
She’ll either be amazed you got it right or correct you and ask why you made that assumption. Either way, it’s better than these boring interview questions.
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6. Challenge her
It’s boring when you agree with everything she says or compliment her on the most minor achievements. Plus, you’re likely to come off as a ‘nice guy’.
It’s more interesting if you tease her, challenge her or question her decisions in a playful way. If she earns your compliments, they’ll carry a lot more weight.
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7. Make her laugh
If you make a woman laugh, she’ll never find the date boring. Read my comprehensive guide on how to be funny if you need it.
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8. Don’t take yourself too seriously
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The people who take themselves too seriously are the most boring in the world. So, embrace your flaws and learn to laugh at yourself.
If this woman likes you, she might tease you or poke at your insecurities to test your confidence.
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9. Don’t sit on the fence
Try to develop an opinion whenever possible. If you couldn’t give a rat’s ass about a topic, explain why.
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10. Use creative language
Similes and metaphors are great tools for spicing up your story-telling. Use the five senses to paint a picture for her too.
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11. Describe emotions
Whenever you tell a story, describe the emotions that the people in the story were feeling. Ask your date to imagine how she’d feel. This tactic can bring any lacklustre story to life.
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12. Get to the point!
Don’t tell stories like Grandpa Simpson.
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13. Have an activity planned
You don’t need a special unique date venue, but it helps if there’s something to do other than buy food or drinks. I like to play pool or take my date for a walk by the river.
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14. Be spontaneous
A spontaneous venue change (or engaging in an activity in the existing venue) can be exciting. A date with three different venues helps to keep things fresh in a woman’s mind.
Perhaps one of these venues could be your apartment, where things can really get interesting. Believe it or not, some girls go on first dates because they want to hook up. You won’t know if you don’t try.
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15. Have fun!
A lot of women find first dates really stressful. And if you get nervous, she’s going to feel even worse! This is why it’s the man’s job to make the date fun.
When you enjoy yourself, this helps her to relax. Then, she might begin to open up and have a great time too. A win-win for both of you.
The easiest way to have fun on a date is to stop being outcome-dependent. Forget about filtering yourself, organize an activity you enjoy and say the things you want to say!
Bring her into your world and let her come along for the ride. You got this.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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