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Valentine’s Day is a day for lovers.
When you’re single with no one who has the potential to be the love of your life, then Valentine’s Day can make you feel like an outcast. Watching others lavish their partner with gifts or having flowers delivered, may make you think: Why not me?
But there’s no reason to think that just because you’re not in a couple or married, that you don’t deserve a day of love too. You are still in a relationship. It’s just that relationship is with yourself.
My first year fresh out of a relationship, I was depressed on Valentine’s Day. I was used to receiving gifts and celebrating love. Now, I was seeing others receive flowers and being showered with gifts by the ones they loved.
I felt completely left out.
But then I thought, why am I acting like the only way to feel special is if someone else does something for me? I can celebrate myself. So, I did.
I went to the supermarket and bought all my favorite foods. I also purchased a bottle of bath milk, a little pillow for the bathtub and a bottle of nice wine. I arrived at my place, turned the music on and cooked myself dinner.
I sat down with a glass of that nice wine and watched my favorite Romantic Comedy.
Later on, I ran a warm bath, poured another glass of wine, turned down the lights and lit some candles. I let Maxwell serenade me in my candlelit bath. I luxuriated and pampered myself. I even went to sleep in a brand new negligee.
This became my tradition whenever I wasn’t in a relationship or dating someone significant. Whenever Valentine’s Day came around, I’d give myself permission to pamper myself.
One year, I booked a massage. I’ve even picked up a bouquet of flowers or had them delivered to me.
Another year, I took myself to a show that I wanted to see. It didn’t matter what it was I chose to do, I was just focused on making myself happy rather than wallowing in not having a significant other.
The next day, I arrived in the office grinning just like everyone else who had a great night.
The point is to see the day as one where you do things for yourself.
Perhaps you want to buy yourself something but have it as a low priority on your to-do list. Why not buy it? You could get your favorite food delivered. Book a massage. Play video games. Do whatever it is that feels like you are being good to yourself and enjoying your own company.
Make yourself the prime focus and feel happy about being able to do the things you love.
Being single is rarely celebrated. However, there is freedom in being able to do whatever you want without planning or needing to consult someone else. Let Valentine’s Day be the day you exercise that freedom to the fullest.
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This post has been republished on Hello, Love our Medium publication.
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