How to Powerfully Restore Intimacy in a Superficial Digital World

Ah, love — the source of countless poems, songs, and, you know it, rom-coms. Think about your favorite rom-com for a second — don’t you just feel like watching it again? Yeah… Me too. That’s the power of love.

But in our world where there are devices that help us do literally anything, love and intimacy are getting lost behind. Hell, there are even AI helpers now that we can have full conversations with. Now, who really needs intimacy?

This is a genuine problem because if intimacy is lost, all our relationships are bound to become shallow and superficial. So we have to do something to restore intimacy in our relationships — but what?

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Authentic Communication

Imagine love as a simple language. In the past, before all these phones, computers, technology, etc., we had to do things analog. If you wanted to send a message to someone far away, you had to carefully craft a letter, make sure you got the address right, and write clearly and without any mistakes because only God knows when your recipient might get it and reply. The good ol’ days.

Now, all you have to do is pull out your phone, type your message, select the recipient, and click send — in the blink of an eye, your message has traveled the world and landed where it needs to be. While typing our message, we don’t even have the patience to spell out words — auto-correct much?

In the past, letters took days, people had to get used to face-to-face communications, and each conversation was authentic because it either took your time crafting a letter that takes forever to deliver or you said what you wanted to with eye contact. There’s not much else you could do if you wanted to communicate. But now, everyone is fluent in inauthentic and surface-level lingo, and that’s the problem right there.

Dating Apps

Hmm… Swipe! Nope… Swipe! If only she was blonde… Swipe! If only he wasn’t bald… Swipe! We are so used to instant gratification from dating apps that we start seeing potential partners as disposable.

We skim human profiles like they are made of texts then swipe left or right based on superficial traits. But that’s the problem with skimming… You only get the gist of it. We think we’ve found the right profile, but nope, we just got the gist of it. It’s not very proper, is it?

Although we have so many means to connect with people, we somehow manage to feel lonelier than ever. It’s a paradox.

Reclaim Authentic Communication

So how do we bridge the gap and go back to proper and authentic communication like we used to do in the past? It’s not as if you’re gonna start writing letters, right? That would be absurd.

Instead, what we need to do is simpler. All we really need to do is shift our focus back into intentional connection and mindful communication. Basically, don’t say what you don’t mean, and don’t remain quiet when you should speak.

I Want To Challenge You

For the next few weeks, don’t use any emojis when texting anybody. And when you get a reply from a text, don’t reply immediately, until you’re sure what you want to say. Of course, if it’s urgent or important, ignore it.

Try listening more when you’re communicating. You’ll be surprised just how happy it will make the other person.

Be vulnerable. Ditch the filters, put down your walls, and show your genuine self and all your passions. Be you and unapologetically so — imperfections and all.

Love Is A Verb

Love is an action, not just a feeling. It’s a choice, a commitment that you’re going to show up when needed, express that you care, and make sure your partner feels loved.

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Restoring Intimacy isn’t about ditching technology — we’re not trying to go backward here. It’s about using it thoughtfully and authentically. Love exists in the raw, the imperfect, and the real. If you can use technology to achieve all these things, you would have managed to reclaim authenticity and restored intimacy in the relationships you choose to keep. Thanks for reading!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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