If this isn’t Irony, I don’t know what is.
As an Aspie (one with Asperger’s Syndrome and a completely PC term) I get afraid around people. I’ve lost track of how many things I haven’t gone to after being invited simply because I’m afraid of interacting with them. And without any real friends, I don’t get invited out much to begin with.
Yet, when someone is screwing with my well being, I have no problem getting in the face of a guy twice my size, knowing I can “logic” him into submission. Logic is the frame an Aspies brain is built on. It’s both a blessing and a curse.
I’ll give you an example from my life and show you how logic is going to benefit your efforts in advocating for yourself.
I’ve seen the same psychiatrist for a year now and my insurance company only covers one psychiatric group, however that group has about a hundred doctors, so there are many choices.
I’ll call him Dr. Feelgood, because that’s what he’s supposed to help me do, right?
Over the past six months, my depression has worsened and not improved, as it should be. I told him about this multiple times and every time I was told that I was on a high dose of my medication and that I was fine.
“I’m not fine,” I said one day, nearly in tears. “No offense, but I haven’t seen you in my office, or on my couch or anywhere near me, so you have no logical basis on which to say that I’m fine. You see me for five-ten minutes every couple months. And obviously this medicine isn’t working, so let’s try something else.”
After the third time being told that I’m fine with no basis whatsoever, I told him I wanted to change doctors.
“The only way you can change doctors,” he explained. Is with me signing off on it and there’s no need to change doctors when you’re fine.” He smiled, closed my file and got up, signaling that we were finished.
Maybe he was, but I was just getting started.
I politely, more politely than I thought I would be, and asked to please speak with the person in charge of all the psychiatrists in the building.
After sitting for about fifteen minutes, a woman who was clearly to young to be the person I asked to speak with approached me and asked me to follow her to her office.
With a sigh, I followed.
Once in her office, she introduced herself and I asked what her position was. Turns out I was talking to one of the nurses in charge, a position that sounded lower than that which I was expecting.
I politely asked if she was aware of who I was actually looking to speak to and she said she did but they had protocols as far as chain of command.
I told her I understood, but that as a patient I too had protocols which needed to be followed, and my protocols were that when I’m not happy with my doctor, I am able to switch.
When I asked her if she had the power to switch doctors and said no, I asked why we were even talking and she once again brought up the chain of command.
“Awesome,” I replied. “One layer gone through. Let’s get to the next.”
Long story short, three people later I finally got to see the big man himself. Turns out that he was really, really upset that I had to ask my doctor three times to be switched and that I had to waste time and stress jumping through hoops just to get to him.
Throughout the process, I pictured something out of a bad gangster movie, where the bad guy was in a dimly lit office with a couple of no-neck goons sitting on couches and another huge thug at the door waiting for the boss to tell him to let us in.
What I found was a guy who looked like he could be your neighbor and who was genuinely concerned about my mental health first and foremost. One of the first things he said to me was this.
“I know you’re not happy with what you’re being prescribed and how you’re feeling and we’ll address that in a moment, but are you up to date on everything Dr. XXXXX is prescribing you?”
He then asked if I would mind if we just talked for about ten minutes so he could get a better idea of who I am so he could find the best fit for me.
All this blew me away. I was prepared to go toe to toe with someone who would look down on me for having a service dog, having had a stroke, being autistic and diagnosed with severe depression and social anxiety disorder. I got the opposite.
The important thing is that you stand up for yourself and that if you’re not happy with the answer after you’ve received a logical or reasonable reason, then keep pushing.
People with disabilities often get pushed aside and those with a hidden disability, even more so. Don’t let people bully you. I know it can be hard, but it can be overcome.
It’s your life; so don’t let others make decisions that you’re capable of making. It will be tough at the beginning, just like anything worthwhile, but eventually, you’ll get the hang of it and begin standing tall and proud. Because you’ve learned to self-advocate.
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I’m in total agreement! I’ve had to face much the same! I haven’t had a Dr. say that to me. It would be nice to have someone step up instead of trying to cover their butts. I’m hearing impaired and it is a silent ability- differently abled. In that my life is more complicated because people think I hear just fine. Thanks for this. <3 I'm working on getting better at self-advocacy! Bravo, you did it. Many do not.