How To Stand Up for Yourself in a Relationship. 3 Easy Ways

I think a relationship is one of the most complicated things in this world.

In a relationship, it gets to a point where you don’t know the person you once knew to be loving and caring. When it gets to that to that point, you begin asking yourself questions that often have no answers.

If your partner starts treating you badly, it doesn’t always mean they are bad or they don’t love you anymore. Sometimes it’s because that’s their personality, a behavior they have adopted, or maybe they are hurting inside, you may never know.

A person being like that doesn’t mean they can mistreat or disrespect others.

You should know that you can’t change a person. The only thing you can do is to not take in all that bad stuff and see things from a different perspective other than the one they want you to see.

The best and strongest thing you can do for both of you is to forgive your partner and help them see that what they are doing is wrong.

Not many people can do that for others but sometimes that’s what shows whether you really love the person. I mean, what’s the point of loving a person when they are perfect and leaving when they aren’t?

Things can get tough and you have no option but to leave and it is okay but when you have a chance to save your relationship, take it.

1. Know your value first

You can’t really defend something if you don’t know what it’s worth.

There is a saying in Swahili which states that people treat you the way you treat yourself.

If you think you are worthless, then why should anyone believe otherwise?

Getting to love and know yourself, is amazing because then you’ll get to see all the beauty and grace that you carry.

The real you will show you things that you didn’t know about yourself and will let you dream about levels you didn’t know you’d ever reach. It will show you what you are really capable of, you will have so much strength and confidence.

Everything you do reflects who you are, if you are insecure, then that’s what people see and some take advantage of that.

Joyce Meyer narrates stories of her life that help to teach others. She grew up thinking that she was worthless and no man would ever love her so she jumped on the first one that showed interest in her. It was one of the mistakes of her life. He treated her badly and within no time, they were not together.

She was with him out of insecurity and think, him treating her badly made her even more insecure.

Don’t make the mistake of giving someone else the privilege of loving you when you can’t love yourself. Plus you can’t see another person’s love for you when inside you are convinced no one can love you.

Discover yourself first and your partner will see and respect you.

2. Be clear on what you want

A lot of things change when you stop assuming your partner knows everything you are thinking of.

Sometimes you make a mistake and don’t even know that you hurt someone. The same happens to the people, they can be mean to you and not know. They can be unfair to you when all they wanted was to make you happy.

Again, you can’t change a person but you can change how you think.

If someone hurts you, let it be clear to them what you feel. If you try this in your relationship you will be surprised because most of the time it’s not what you think.

Confronting someone about something they did, is a sign of self-confidence and shows them that they can’t mess with you.

If you confront someone who’s used to abusing you and getting away with it, it starts to bring them down, and believe it or not, when you are done with the confrontation, they’ll be wondering where you got the confidence from.

A person that loves will stop whatever they do to make you feel bad because when you confront them, then it is clear what they are doing is wrong. When you are wrong, especially to someone you love, you will apologize.

You don’t demand an apology, that’s up to the other person when they know they are wrong.

7 Ways To Earn Respect In A Relationship

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3. Respect

Being with the same person for a long time can spark some disrespect and you don’t want that.

If you let disrespect go on for a long time, it can be messy, it causes insecurity and bitterness. That is so unhealthy for a human being.

When you see disrespect in a young relationship, it’s good to deal with it earlier. You will see a young man abusing or disrespecting his girlfriend in public and she lets that go on, they even get married. That is a cooking disaster that will finally poison you.

Respect is very important in a relationship and both of you have to know your place.

Ask for respect with confidence because you serve it.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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