How to Teach Kids to See Other Perspectives

Some kids seem to be born with an innate ability to comprehend others’ feelings. Other kids need a little push here and there to make sure they’re on the right path toward empathy.

One child isn’t bad and the other good, they’re just different humans with individual experiences and viewpoints.

Regardless of what degree of ‘perspective taking’ your child does or doesn’t have, the ultimate goal in this article is to help your kid(s) learn to consider what someone else is thinking and feeling.

The first step is fairly simple: discuss the golden rule and how important it is to be fair.

Then we can look at a helpful visual trick for teaching kids (and adults too) how everyone sees things differently.

The last step returns to the principle of the golden rule, how empathy feeds into it, and how fairness is a crucial part of seeing others’ perspectives.

As always, feel free to tailor the content to your child’s maturity level.

Talk about the golden rule

The underlying purpose of this step is to slowly begin connecting the concept of fairness with the ability to consider others’ point of view.

Later, you might consider more advanced conversations, but for now, keep it simple by limiting your discussions to fairness and the golden rule (‘do to others as you would have them do to you’).

For example, suppose there’s a child with brown skin in your child’s class (assuming it’s an inclusive school) who’s constantly bullied because of their heritage. Or maybe there’s a pupil on the autism spectrum who’s teased because of their cognitive and behavioral differences.

Without putting them on the spot, ask your child to come up with three words to describe how they might feel if they were treated the same way as their classmates.

By using their own words, they’ll be able to start forming a better understanding of what others might be feeling or thinking

Look at ambiguous images together

This is a wonderful visual trick for illustrating how everyone sees things differently.

The best known ambiguous image is the one with a picture of a duck that also looks like a picture of a rabbit.

Some people are adamant that this is a picture of a rabbit, and others are just as sure that it’s a picture of a duck.

Look at the image together, talk about what you both see and why, and discuss how amazing it is that two people can interpret the same drawing so differently.

Don’t forget to do this repeatedly so it’s not just a one-time lesson. It takes a lot of time and many repeated exposures for a child to fully grasp how others see things differently.

Foster empathy

This last step returns to the principle of the golden rule. The goal here is to help your child make a connection between empathy and recognizing others’ needs.

As with all of the values we try to instill in our children, the best way for your child to develop empathy is by following your example. Here are some ideas for demonstrating empathy in front of your child.

Hold the door open for someone who has their arms full.
Show excitement for a friend who has good news.
If you pass a homeless person on the street, talk about what it might be like to have to sleep out in the open, or not know when you can eat next, or not have anywhere to put your stuff. Express genuine curiosity about how that person got to such a low point in their life.
Wherever you are, if you encounter someone who looks like they need help, stop what you’re doing and take the time to ask questions and offer assistance. It’s important to show your child what signs to look for when someone needs help; it’s not always intuitive. Talk about how you knew that person needed help.
Be compassionate with your child so they know what it feels like.
Don’t be afraid to apologize (to your child or anyone else). Apologizing isn’t a sign of weakness, but a brave act of courage, strength, and kindness.

In all of these examples, follow up by saying something about why you showed empathy.

For example, if you held the door open for someone with their arms full, say you did it because you know what it feels like to have your arms full and need a door opened.

This will help your child make a connection between fairness and understanding others’ needs.

Try to show empathy frequently. It might seem redundant to you, but your child is most likely slowly applying your message to events in their own life to make sure what you’re saying makes sense. Keep going.

Finally, once you feel like your child has a solid understanding of how important it is to see others’ perspective, let them take the lead and apply the concept to more advanced subjects like racial and gender equality, physical and cognitive differences, etc.

This will help them feel like they ‘own’ the subject and will enable them to learn at their own pace.