Let’s be honest here. A person’s physical appearance is the first thing we notice about them. You can’t help it. Their eyes, their smile, their hands. The way someone moves and talks — everything that has to do with our outside image.
Appearance matters. When we feel attraction, we want to see more. We want to know more. We want to be around someone more.
Thankfully, body language helps us become instantly more attractive.
Body language is a silent orchestra, as people constantly give clues to what they’re thinking and feeling. You may not realize it, but everything, from your body movements to your facial expressions play a vital role when it comes to attraction. Years of extensive research have confirmed it.
You don’t need tons of makeup, cosmetic surgeries, or fancy clothes to make people notice you. What you really need is the right body language. Here are some body language cues that can make you appear more physically attractive.
Displaying Positive Emotions
My best friend used to say that smiling is always the antidote to all the awkwardness and uneasiness that usually come with the first dates.
But it’s not just about smiling and laughing when you’re on a date. Displaying positive emotions makes you more attractive anywhere, to anyone.
Imagine you’re at a party and there are two women sitting on a couch close to you. The one is grumpy, kinda sad, and keeps pouting. The other is constantly smiling, talking and her body seems to vibrate with energy. Which one of the two would you choose to go and talk to?
You get my point. People who display positive emotions through their facial expressions are consistently rated as more likable and more attractive.
Forget all about that red lipstick or that brand new fancy shirt. A smile is all you really need.
Paying More Attention to Your Body Posture
How we hold our bodies serves as an important part of body language, and therefore whether we’ll make a good or bad impression on someone.
Sitting up straight, for example, may indicate that a person is focused and paying attention to their surroundings. Sitting with the body hunched forward, on the other hand, can imply that the person is bored or indifferent.
You wouldn’t want to make that insanely attractive person you’re talking with think you’re indifferent, right?
What you’d want to do, is to keep an open posture that’s friendly, inviting, conveys trust, and makes it easier to be approached.
The Eyes Chico, They Never Lie
I’m sure you saw that one coming. Everyone knows that when it comes to attraction, eye contact is everything.
As American self-help author Mark Manson states in his article about the levels of eye contact,
Making eye contact can mean anything from “You don’t exist to me” to “I’d like to see you naked”.
Looking at someone a lot suggests interest, and holding a stranger’s or acquaintance’s gaze a bit longer than usual can be a cue of seduction.
Looking directly at someone’s eyes when having a conversation, and holding their gaze (don’t overdo it though), makes you look confident, comfortable, and interested in the other person.
Blinking too much, on the other hand, constantly breaking eye contact and looking away gives the other person the impression that you are distracted, uncomfortable, or distressed.
The takeaway is, appropriate eye contact can make you seem more attractive, confident, likable, attentive, and memorable. Use it to your advantage.
Touch to Build Attraction
“Touch has a memory.”
― John Keats
Several research studies have found that when you touch other people, they tend to become more attracted to you.
Plus, if you’re shy (like me) and don’t talk very much, or struggle to express your feelings in a verbal way, a subtle touch, like a light brushing of the hand, can make wonders and make the other person understand you’re interested in him, even though you don’t bombard him with questions or struggle to hold a dazzling conversation.
Some other common ways of social touching include hugs as a greeting, or sitting next to someone rather than across them so that your shoulders or knees can touch.
But, keep in mind that not all people feel comfortable being touched by people they don’t really know yet.
There’s no denying that body language is a fundamental communication tool in dating and attraction.
When we first meet someone, we subconsciously notice everything about their appearance. It’s what matters most in first impressions. But it’s not just about your looks.
It’s about the way you move, the way you sit, the way you talk, the way you look at someone. All these things matter and can easily be used to increase your likability.
Now, the truth is it takes hard work to develop nonverbal communication skills. You won’t be able to charm everyone you meet from one day to another. It takes a bit of patience and a lot of practice.
But it’s worth it.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Ben Scott on Unsplash