How to Win With Difficult People You Love

Do you have a person close to you in your life that makes everything a little more challenging?

Maybe they find it hard to admit when they’re wrong.

Or maybe they want to prove that their way is the best, no matter the topic or issue.

It’s not a stretch to believe that everyone has experienced knowing someone close to them that’s a little bit tougher at times to be around. But because life happens, and you still love them, you want to do what you can to help them.

Maybe that’s your experience right now with someone you love.

If this sounds familiar or has been something you have experienced in the past, here are four tips with a revelation that may surprise you.

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Stick to the facts and refrain from getting defensive.

A lot of challenging people have a way of being unfiltered.

Whether it’s age or the accumulation of life experiences, the filter they once had as a younger person starts to disappear.

They don’t realize how cutting their words can be. If you asked them about emotional intelligence they may give you a puzzling look.

The best thing to do with these people you love in these difficult moments is to refrain from getting defensive.

Even if they say something off-putting, it’s best to take a deep breath and stick to the facts when you’re talking to them.

Stop trying to relate everything to yourself.

It’s not about you and your feelings.

When these difficult people in your life start saying offensive things it’s natural to take them to heart.

But deep down, these moments of frustration and unkindness are not about you — it’s about them.

Don’t try to compare what they are saying and doing to how you would respond in situations.

What they are going through in their lives has everything to do with them.

Don’t try to rationalize it in your mind. You aren’t them or feel what they feel.

Ensure they feel heard.

The best thing to do is to listen.

Listen without a judging heart or an urge to try to fix what they are going through.

Give some of your time and vocally confirm you have heard what they have said.

It doesn’t mean sacrificing a lot of yourself and your day to solely dedicate to them. But a 20-minute conversation allowing them to speak and showing that you are there to listen can mean a lot.

Show up with your presence, and give of yourself to let them speak their truth.

Show in actions and say in words that you care.

At the core of dealing with challenging people in your life, this perhaps is the biggest uncovered truth.

This person wants to feel loved.

That’s really what it boils down to.

They want to feel loved and cared for. If they can feel that you love them, then any action or word after that will be better received.

They need to hear it in words that you love them. They also need to feel it in an embrace that you care.

Your first step to truly helping them is reassuring them of your love for them.

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We all can become a little bit challenging to deal with at one point or another in our life.

What’s important is knowing that there are some steps you can take to make communication in your relationship a little easier.