Is a job ever worth your happiness?
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I just got out of a bad relationship. With my job.
It started out just like any other new relationship does. I had just made the decision to become a writer and this was my first freelancing opportunity. I was so excited about landing a one year contract working on a project I knew I would enjoy.
I sprung out of bed each morning excited to tackle any new tasks that were waiting for me. When I had a new assignment, I spent hours working diligently without even noticing the time go by. But soon some red flags started waving right in front of me. I tried to ignore them and give my new work relationship the benefit of the doubt.
“It’s a new project. Just give them some time. Things will get better,” I told myself.
But they never did. In fact, they got worse, as most unaddressed issues do.
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A pattern of broken promises emerged. Communication was ambiguous, inconsistent, and nonexistent at times. I started feeling crazy when I was told that I received documents that I never did. Thankfully, my carefully kept records confirmed I wasn’t losing it.
My eagerness turned to anxiety and dread when I woke up every morning not knowing what obstacles I’d have to overcome just to go get my work done. I started doubting my competence even though deep down I knew that wasn’t the issue.
It dawned on me that I was now enmeshed in a highly dysfunctional work relationship.
My directions for assignments were unclear and I was not given adequate information to do the job effectively. Excuses for these frustrations abounded. Communication was cumbersome and exhausting and I dreaded
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I found myself changing my mind about staying or leaving almost on a daily basis. I knew that I was not happy with the way I was being treated and something had to change. That back and forth indecisiveness was a sure sign that something was very wrong.
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these interactions on a daily basis. I knew these were not good signs.
I also felt disrespected because of the way business was often being conducted. In one instance, an assignment I had submitted was returned to me a week later and expected to be edited and revised within only a few hours. This was not only against my contract, but there was no asking and no apology. It was commanded and left me feeling unappreciated and resentful. I had not agreed to these terms.
The first time the thought of leaving entered my mind, I quickly dismissed it.
“I can’t,” I thought to myself, “My contract is for a whole year.”
It now seemed like a life sentence. But after the thought crept in for the first time, it wouldn’t go away. It kept picking at me. It seemed like a much wanted escape. Soon, I found myself changing my mind about staying or leaving almost on a daily basis. I knew that I was not happy with the way I was being treated and something had to change. That back and forth indecisiveness was a sure sign that something was very wrong.
The last straw came when it was time for me to get paid. I had already been working for over a month. I submitted my first invoice. My contract stated that it would take no more than five days for payments to be processed. That deadline came and went. Three days later, I received an email stating that since there was a one day holiday, everyone in the office would be taking the week off and I would need to wait yet another week at least for my payment to even be sent off for processing.
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I know I could never stay in another personal or professional situation that leaves me feeling emotionally drained and undervalued. At this point in my life, I know the warning signs all too well.
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I was infuriated. This was the ultimate lack of respect, professionalism, and consideration. This was money that I earned which was being denied to me without apology and with a very casual, invalid explanation. How did they know I wasn’t relying on this income to feed my children or keep my electricity on? Regardless, it was almost like stealing from me. I started to become unsure I would get paid at all.
That was it for me. I documented the dates of all the issues I had. I called the manager overseeing the project and explained to him that I would be terminating my contract and why. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get out of it since this was a big company and I was just little old me. But I didn’t ask to be let out of it, I proclaimed that I was leaving and explained to him all of the reasons why. He was extremely understanding and apologetic. He even emailed me after our conversation to thank me for my professionalism and tell me he would see to it that I was compensated. I appreciated his concern, but at that point, I wasn’t even worried about the money. I wanted back my quality of life. I just wanted out. If it meant losing a month of time without pay, I preferred that to a year of my life even with financial compensation.
Luckily, my resignation was not challenged and they seemed to recognize their role in my decision. I even got paid eventually!
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Looking back on the experience, I couldn’t help but notice the parallels between this and dysfunctional romantic relationships I’ve been in.
The interactions with personnel at this company led me to question and doubt myself. They told me they had sent me correspondence they never had. They made promises and didn’t keep them. They treated my concerns casually and reacted in such a cavalier way that made me wonder if I was overreacting.
I know I could never stay in another personal or professional situation that leaves me feeling emotionally drained and undervalued. At this point in my life, I know the warning signs all too well even though at first I may try to ignore them. I can’t guarantee that I will never find myself in another dysfunctional relationship, but there’s not enough money in the world that can make me stay in one.
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Photo: Flickr/bottled_void
