I Am Ashamed

At the time, I was working as a Center Head at an art school where students of all age groups came to learn dance and music. We had a girls’ dance batch, and one day a young woman, around twenty or twenty-one years old, enrolled in our classes. She had come to India from Russia.

I personally handled her admission. I remember feeling happy that someone from another country had chosen to learn here. I wanted her to feel welcomed and comfortable, the way every visitor should. I hoped that whenever she thought of India, she would remember kindness, warmth, and hospitality.

She used to travel to the institute by auto-rickshaw and attended classes regularly. She was a talented dancer and seemed genuinely interested in learning.

Then, after a few weeks, I noticed that she had stopped coming.

At first, I assumed she might be busy or unwell. But when her absence continued, I called her to ask if everything was alright.

Her answer stayed with me.

She told me that she wanted to continue attending classes, but she was afraid to leave her house. On her way to the institute, a group of young men had started following her. They stared at her, passed comments, and made her feel unsafe. The fear had become so overwhelming that she no longer felt comfortable stepping outside alone.

Then she said something that broke my heart.

She told me that she wanted to return home as soon as possible.

I listened.

And that was all I could do.

I told her to take care of herself and stay safe.

Even today, that helplessness haunts me.

Because the truth is that her story was not unique.

Every day, countless girls and women face the same fear. Different streets, different cities, different faces — but the same fear. The fear of being watched, followed, judged, harassed, or harmed simply for existing in public spaces.

Sometimes I wonder when the day will come when every girl can step outside without calculating risks. When she can travel alone without fear. When freedom will not depend on luck, location, or the time of day.

When will girls be able to live fully, openly, and fearlessly?

I do not have the answer.

What I do have is a lingering sense of shame.

Shame that a young woman traveled thousands of miles to experience a different country, only to discover a fear that so many women here already know too well.

And whenever I remember her, I find myself saying the same words in silence:

I am sorry.
And I am ashamed.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.