Old school narcissists with tiny hands like Donald Trump are as bad an example of mature masculinity as Anthony Weiner who cant seem to keep his Gen X pecker in his pants and bony fingers away from his cell phone camera. Both of them protesteth too much as far as promoting themselves as “manly men” who carry a “big stick”. Me thinketh they both suffer from male-patterned insecurity cultivated in an unusually competitive society and cutthroat political environment. Historically, patriarchal cultures and patrilinear societies like the Roman Empire tend to be insecure about their political fate and sexual potency. Historians often remark how obsessed ancient Rome was with “the penis motif” and wonder why such an advanced civilization felt the need to install phallic symbols everywhere for protection, good fortune, and perhaps as conveniently shaped directional markers.
In contrast, my approach to men and masculinity applies much broader and less “genital-centered” principles to address basic psychological needs and sex-related problems. Focusing too much on the penis either in therapy or in life can only lead to a bad case of performance anxiety, genital warts or penis envy a la Freud. As an older clinical psychologist and sex therapist of the male persuasion (62 years old) I hope to have gained (in addition to the proverbial extra 20 lbs “spare tire”) a few distinct advantages as a result of having longitudinal life experience. This includes but is not limited to such things as considerable “hindsight” and big picture “perspective”.
It also means I’ve gotten my cocky male narcissistic ass kicked around enough times to know what humble pie tastes like. Trying too hard to be the biggest and best at everything including sex can end up having the exact opposite effect on ones internalized ego and externalized sex organ. In other words, it’s not just the grass that appears greener and much grander when you look too close at what others possess in the locker room, the urinal, or even the Imperial gladiator ring. Personally, I say “thank the Gods” that there are other important human attributes to focus on as we age besides penis length and girth to offset the enlarged prostate, progressive baldness, hearing loss, and my current state of total invisibility to any woman under the age of 50 at Starbucks.
Developing the psychological maturity necessary to experience and express profound love, loyalty, compassion, emotional receptivity, and deep empathy are not booby prizes in the sexual revolution and so called battle between the now, well, somewhat indeterminate sexes. Such qualities help to define our humanity and may represent the golden keys to freedom from an insidious male genital-centered form of psychological slavery and oppression, one that has hindered men and women alike for thousands of years.
Hey, I am Spartacus!
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