“I Know How Awesome You Are. Do You Know How Awesome I Am?”

I don’t exactly know who my wife has been reading these days, but I have gotten quite a few questions like these in the past couple of days: “Do you know how awesome I am?” When I first heard it, I thought she was joking just to see how quick I am with a compliment. However, it wasn’t just a question, it was more of a reminder.

I know, us married people do get caught up in our routines and a lot of the time forget to tell your partners how incredible they are. So, I suspect that is why that book she is holding was telling her to nudge me to pause and bring to mind that mutual appreciation is one of the things that makes a relationship endure.

“I thought she was joking just to see how quick I am with a compliment.”

That question, “Do you know how awesome I am?” really made me think, though. I know how awesome she is. I do. However, I began to wonder how often I have openly acknowledged it recently.

Wiser ones than me tell us that marriage is not a one-and-done deal, so don’t think just saying “I love you” or “You are amazing” once means the sentiment is going to carry through the years, because sentiments don’t come with a lifetime warranty, they need to be actively renewed.

So, how did I answer? I flipped it back on her: “Oh, I know how awesome you are, do you know how awesome I am?” She laughed (one of the things that makes her so awesome), but underneath all the humor, I recognized the real point: mutual admiration is a glue that keeps a relationship strong.

“Sentiments don’t come with a lifetime warranty, they need to be actively renewed.”

Of course, there is little harm in sharing your own awesomeness too. Just don’t do it in a selfish, bragging way. You can let your partner see your strengths along with your vulnerabilities and everything else that makes you, you. However, it is a two-way street: “I celebrate you, and you celebrate me.”

Most people can’t really read minds (even the ones that claim they can), therefore, even though you think you are expressing love and admiration through our actions, the words matter a lot too. “You’re amazing” can go a long way, even if you think your partner already knows it. And if we are being honest, who doesn’t like being reminded that how awesome they are?

Don’t you?

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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