I Lost 120 Pounds — And My Dating App Experience Completely Changed

When I lost 120 pounds, I knew that things would change. I figured I would level up my clothing style and get more energy. What I didn’t expect was for the dating apps to feel like an entirely different universe.

And the weirdest part about it all? It wasn’t just that the guys on the apps changed. What I look for on the dating apps changed, too.

Here’s how losing 120 pounds changed the people I match with on dating apps.

I Match With People Who Never Would Have Swiped “Yes” On Me Before

Let’s be honest: we all judge a book by its cover on dating apps. It’s one of the reasons I hate dating apps, but I digress.

The entire structure of a dating app works by showing you a profile photo of someone. Most people are just scrolling, and they swipe yes or no, making a snap judgment in seconds.

Online dating is an appearance-based process.

Before I lost weight, I matched with people — but far less people. If I’m being honest, a lot of them were overweight, or they had other physical attributes that might not have allowed them to be seen as conventionally good-looking. And the few attractive guys who swiped on me were the ones who saw beneath the surface, the ones who understood that a good relationship is based on more than looks alone.

After losing 120 pounds, the type of guys who swipe “yes” on me has changed dramatically. I’ve begun to match with guys who never would have looked twice at me before.

And honestly? That’s sort of disappointing, in some ways.

It’s sort of sad that it takes a 120 pound weight loss for people to start actually seeing you.

I Know We All Have a Type — And So Do I

Don’t get me wrong. We all have a type. But it makes me a bit sad to think that so many people are unwilling to give someone a chance just because they’re overweight.

At the end of the day, it’s not my fault that attractive guys didn’t see my worth before. It doesn’t mean I was any less worthy.

The Way I Started Swiping on Dating Apps Also Changed

Now that I’ve lost weight, I’ve found that my own type has changed. I prefer guys who lead healthier lifestyles, because that’s in alignment with my own lifestyle.

I aim to walk at least three miles every day. If a guy is more into video games than outdoorsy stuff, I know he’s probably not for me. And there’s nothing wrong with that; it just means we aren’t compatible.

I’m not saying I want a guy who’s a personal trainer or who owns a gym (not that I’d be opposed to it). But I want a guy who takes care of himself and who understands that our habits affect our overall health.

I Set the Bar Higher For Myself Now

Now that I’ve lost 120 pounds, I’ve found that my own standards have gotten higher. The old me swiped on dating apps based on my own insecurities. I would only swipe yes on someone if I thought they were someone who would be interested in me or if they would accept me for who I was.

Now, I swipe on anyone who I find to be attractive. And a lot of the time I match with anyone I find attractive. But that alone isn’t enough for me to consider it a good match.

I used to feel like I had to “settle for what I could get.” I lacked boundaries, and I came off as desperate for affection.

Now I expect someone to check all of my boxes. I expect them to be kind, interesting, funny, and motivated. I expect them to match my effort. If I don’t hear from them for a day or two, I unmatch now — whereas I never would have done that before my weight loss journey.