I regret every move I made. I was 22 and she was 19.
I needed someone to love, I wanted someone to fall.
She did, and I was happy. But not until I realized that I made her fall unconsciously in love.
In hind sight, so many marriages collapse due to one of the partners falling unconsciously in love, and the other actually being in love.
Some would say love is blind. But even a blind man can feel warmth, and the slightest or gentle touch that transcends the boundaries of sight.
But I never saw it.
So why does it happen?
- That 2 becomes 1. But one is truly in love and the other is merely reciprocating it.
- That one would measure and gauge their level of commitment against the other before committing to be a helping hand.
…
It was you! You made me fall in love.
Once she made the above statement, I knew that she fell in love unconsciously.
Sometime during our time together, I needed her to make a significant commitment. It wasn’t financial, and it was quite permissible. But she scampered away with fear.
Soon I confronted her, and I got the most depressing answer…“It was you, you made me fall in love!”
Right there, I felt the walls crashing on me. I have just been told the truth. Something that has lured around for months.
Once I gave it a deeper thought too. I replied… “I regret it, I regret every move.”
In most cases, men are the first to fall in love and commit to a relationship. This is not to say that women are not loving or committed. However it extends the factor of consciousness.
- Men or women: Never force love on anyone.
- Men or women: Let your partner catch up with your level of love for them and commitment to them. No matter how late it might be.
In my own case, I wanted to have 100% of her love when she was still in awe of dating me. It had made her fall for me unconsciously through friendly research.
I reckoned she loves music, so I played the guitar. I heard she loved to be carefree, so I built a love for saturdays. I did all I could and then she fell in love.
After 7 months of being together. I was 6 months in love, and she was 6 months in reciprocation.
Love is conscious, and its essential.
- Its essential that you choose to be with your partner.
- Its essential that you fall in love intentionally, knowingly, and truthfully.
Consciousness is vital. And even in very trivial issues like falling in love, one must ensure that consciousness remains intact.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash
