I Met a Sexy Hot Guy

It’s Super Bowl weekend and I’m watching the game at one of our fav places. There’s a table of men next to us. They’re nice, funny, and handsome.

But if you read my work, you know something about me.

I’m complicated.

I send mixed signals.

I didn’t disappoint on this particular day. My friends give me a hard time. They say I need to stop joking and deflecting. They say if a guy is interested in me I need to send a clear message back.

I did not.

Regardless, somehow ‘Sexy hot guy’ and I ended up going out.

After a lot of back and forth and clarifying my mixed signals, we met one night. He was a gentleman. He was kind, attentive, and I could see his heart.

It made me bond with him.

I always say, “It’s hard to hide a good heart.”

We spent hours talking. He drew me in. Did I mention his body? There might be a reason I call him “Sexy hot guy.” His body might be working for him. It might be distracting.

There was something about him.

He laughed and told me I had a type.

He might not be wrong. I dated a guy a while back and told him I didn’t care if it wasn’t long term. I told him he could just get me ready for the next sexy guy who came along.

‘Sexy hot guy’ might be him.

He’s a badass.

He’s selfless and brave. He’s also a handful. Not to say that I’m not. I’m also a handful. In fact, he told me that I might have met my match. I’m not sure he’s wrong. I might have.

But I frustrate him.

He hates one thing about me.

He thinks I’m a party girl.

He doesn’t like that in the month that he’s known me that I’ve been out a lot. I’ve told him I waited ten years to date. I’ve told him I didn’t even go out with my friends for nearly ten years.

I’ve told him this is my year.

This is the year I’ve finally felt free from years of an exhaustive, and abusive divorce. I’ve told him I’m not going to apologize that I finally am allowing myself to have fun again.

It doesn’t matter.

He doesn’t have patience for it.

He said he’s dated girls who are party girls and he doesn’t want to go down that road again. He brings out the feisty side of me. I’m an easygoing person unless I feel misunderstood.

He’s looking for a woman who wants to be home with him.

I told him I would be home with a man if I hadn’t refused to date for ten years. And I’m single, of course I’m not home with a man right now. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be.

I don’t want to like ‘Sexy hot guy.’

But it’s hard not to.

Maybe because we spar. Maybe because he gives me a run for my money. At the same time, he’s treated me well. He’s been a gentleman. He’s communicated his feelings but he’s only been good to me so far.

Maybe I like that he’s able to communicate his feelings.

Even if we disagree.

For now, I don’t have a progress update on him. He’s out of town for work the next month. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think we were frustrating each other.

I’ve told him that I am an overly social youngest of five. It’s who I am. I may not have ever gone out this much but I am a massive extrovert. I am a party girl in my own right.

Just not in the light he portrays me.

He said he’s okay with that. He just doesn’t want an extreme. He doesn’t want a girl who always wants to go out. I get that. Even at my most social I wasn’t going out continually.

I met with a friend of mine recently.

I’ve always got to find the humor in everything.

“Turns out he isn’t sure about me because he thinks I’m a party girl,” I say.

“Oh,” she says. “That’s funny because a guy said that to me.”

“The cup is half full,” I say.

“How so?” she says.

“Well,” I say. “You saw his body, right?! I thought that would kill the deal. I thought being out of shape might be the game changer. Turns out I was worried about the wrong thing. Yea me. I’m a party girl. It’s not my body.”

We both laughed.

What will happen when ‘Sexy hot guy’ gets back in town?

Not sure.

But I’ll let you know.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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