I Miss Love

I have been single for three years now, and even though my life is good as I have my friends and my family, I still miss love.

During these three years, I met guys who I knew at a glance would cheat, guys who wanted to kiss you but didn’t want to put in the effort to build something, guys who, from the outside, looked exactly like my ideal type but were nothing more than the idea I had of them. I even met a nice guy who gave me everything, as he put it, yet it still wasn’t enough for me.

I met all of this, the ones I liked who didn’t like me back, and the ones who liked me but whom I didn’t like.

Yet I didn’t meet love.

I have it, through my friends, my job, my family, but not in a romantic way. Not the kind artists draw inspiration from to create masterpieces.

I miss the way love begins, getting to know and like each other.

Having that first date that goes so smoothly, you wonder where he has been all this time, and remembering how easy it is supposed to feel.

Knowing that you want him, but this time not in a rushed way, but instead progressively, building brick by brick.

Knowing that he wants you, and that this time there are no doubts. No anxiety at the thought of him not texting for an hour. No need for validation, because you know. You see it in the way he treats others, in the way he treats life, and in the way he shows up for you.

And what I miss the most about the road to love is getting there.

Having that feeling of wanting only the best for someone and being able to feel love in your heart, the love you give and the love you receive.

I miss love, and I have no idea when I will feel it romantically toward someone. But what I do know is that I don’t want to be with someone I can’t build that with. I deserve to feel it the same way he does.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.