I felt zero attraction for him
He was my dance partner. A guy who I had great chemistry with on the dance floor — but nothing beyond that.
First, he wasn’t my type. I wasn’t attracted to him one bit. Never once had a romantic thought about him. And I assumed he felt the same about me; as he kept everything between us super platonic and ultra polite.
But we danced well together and consequently, would dance together all night. It didn’t take long for us to become good friends.
And then one night, one small gesture left me utterly unsettled… relentlessly obsessing over what it would be like to kiss him.
…
How he changed how I saw him
We had just finished an afternoon dancing together at a beach bar one summer day. I remember walking out to the parking lot together and realizing it was already sunset. We were fatigued from dancing but I was suddenly energized by the last rays of a streaky golden-orange sky.
We stood by my car making small talk about when we would dance next. Just as we were about to part ways, he did something very unexpected.
Instead of hugging me, he kissed me… on the cheek… very innocently, and yet very, very intentionally. It was not a brief, shy peck. I felt his lips on my cheek, pressing into me as if conveying a thousand unspoken words through that one surprisingly sensual gesture.
He lingered just slightly, letting his mouth leave my skin as though he did only because he had no other choice.
And then he was gone.
It was the first time I experienced him in a sensual, romantic way.
It left me with my mouth open, in shock, and terribly flustered. I didn’t know he had this side to him. And suddenly I couldn’t stop thinking about what else was behind this new door that I hadn’t seen yet.
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Show me what you can do
Everyone should know how to take the simplest and most innocent gestures and execute them in a way that gives a hint of the sensuality they are capable of.
This can be a touch, gesture, kiss, or look. It can be a hug, a change in your voice, or the way you compliment them.
Sensuality happens in nuances. But those nuances speak volumes.
Know how to calibrate this, so you give someone a sense without scaring them off if it isn’t as welcomed as you hoped.
Sometimes we only see someone as a friend because that’s the only role we have ever seen them play.
…
Give us a hint
If we want someone to see us differently, sometimes we have to give them a hint of what they would get.
This applies to so many areas of life. If you want people to see you as a leader, step up and take command of a situation. If people think you are a dingbat floozie because you play one on TV, counter that by showing people what you are insightful and intelligent about.
Show people that you are more than what they have seen so far.
It can be a glimpse, a flash, or a sense of what else lies beneath what they see from you. In some cases, that can be enough.
Once you see something, it’s impossible to “un-see” it.
So be brave. It might just be time to show yourself in a way others haven’t seen quite yet. ❤
More Gems here: https://www.instagram.com/_miss_epiphany/
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Nayeli Rosales on Unsplash
