I Thought I Was Unlucky in Love — Until I Read This

I was organizing my bookshelf a few days ago when I stumbled upon one of my favorite books: Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton. The moment I saw it, I paused.

This book carries a kind of emotional weight for me. I first read it during one of the lowest points in my life. I was heartbroken, convinced I was uniquely unlucky in love, and falling asleep with this book in my hands became my quiet therapy. I cried, I laughed, and most importantly, it said everything I needed to hear — exactly when I needed to hear it.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel like a dramatic outlier. Rough patches, it turns out, are painfully common. The world doesn’t end as often as it feels like it will. That kind of comfort is rare — the kind that makes you feel less alone in your pain.

When I flipped through it again, I noticed how marked up it was. I know some people love keeping their books in perfect condition, but I’ve always been the opposite. I like seeing the evidence of what moved me. It’s like leaving little emotional timestamps behind.

And then I found one of my favorite passages. One that completely shifted how I see love.

We spend so much of our lives believing the only love that counts is romantic. We wait for it. We obsess over it. We measure our worth by whether we’ve found “the one.” I know I did.

But that idea is so incomplete.

Love is vast. It shows up in the friend who drags you out when you want to disappear. In the late-night conversations that make you laugh until your stomach hurts. In the family member who checks on you without being asked. In the quiet support that catches you when you fall. It’s the kind of love that restores you, inspires you, and carries you through seasons you thought you wouldn’t survive.

That kind of love is just as real. Just as powerful. Just as healing.

The truth is, we’re often so focused on searching for one specific kind of love that we miss the abundance we already have. We overlook the small, consistent ways love shows up in our lives every single day.

Reading this while I was broken-hearted felt like a quiet kind of healing. It made me realize I wasn’t a magnet for bad luck — I had just been blind to the love that had been protecting me all along. It was in the friends who showed up without hesitation, in my mom making my favorite meal just because I asked, in my dad patiently helping me with things I didn’t understand, and even in coworkers who somehow make stressful days feel lighter.

Moments of joy I had dismissed as “not enough.” The everyday warmth I took for granted.

It’s easy to feel alone when we reduce love to just romantic partnership. If you’re in that waiting season right now, wondering when your person will finally appear, please hear this:

Love is not on pause until romance arrives.

As the movie Love Actually so perfectly puts it: “If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.”

So while you wait for partnership (and it will come in its own time), don’t forget to count the love you already have. Celebrate it. Reciprocate it. Let it fill you up.

If you like these kinds of real, bite-sized reflections, Mind Snacks is where I share one every week. Feel free to drop your own thoughts or situations there too — I’ll give you my honest take or advice when it fits

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