“Sometimes you meet a love, and it’s like your life starts again.”
I wrote those words as a part of my speech for my son’s wedding. I believe those words. For me they are dual purpose. They apply to parenthood, or romantic love.
I’m dating after my divorce.
I want to meet a man that makes me feel like the world just started.
I want to feel like I can’t remember my life without him.
What made me smile bigger, or laugh harder. What made me feel that content, or that much joy. What made me feel better, or more special. What made me feel more rooted, or more safe.
What made me feel more seen, and understood.
I want that kind of a love.
Someone you couldn’t kick out of your heart, or mind if you tried. Someone who makes you feel rationally irrational. A love that’s consuming. One that’s euphoric.
One with an undeniable passion.
One that looks forward, not backward.
A love that feels right.
One that doesn’t feel like you simply stepped into each other’s world..But you don’t know what completed you before you met it. A love where one person isn’t looking for the other. But both people are looking at each other.
I want that kind of love.
I want a man who knows me.
All of me.
He knows my favorite color is pink, Thai is my favorite food, and Rice Krispie treats are like crack to me. And I won’t always share them. He knows I love scary movies, a great thunderstorm, and surprises.
I really love surprises.
They make me feel like a kid.
He knows I love butterflies, crosses, and anything with a walrus on it. He knows I love signs with feel good messages, quotes, and that I have a bad habit of lifting pens, and collecting them. It’s the writer in me.
And another bad habit…candy.
That one is way more out of control.
He knows my sisters say I need a 12 step program for the makeup counter, and jewelry. He knows I can’t live without music, candles, and wine. He knows the beach calls to me.
He knows what “You Are My Sunshine,” and “Joie de Vivre” mean to me.
He knows that silly things make me happy.
A wine glass with my name on it, rubber ducks, Pez dispensers, or some other silly novelty that makes me feel like a kid, or makes me smile, or laugh.
He knows words are magic to me.
I want that kind of love.
A man who makes me feel like my world just started.
But who lives outside of his own world.
A man who notices his surroundings. Who opens the door, not just for me but for anyone. A generous guy who wouldn’t just buy me a drink but would pick up the tab for my friend too.
Because this time around, I realize it would take that kind of a man to know all of me. Not just say he loves me. Not just parallel play beside me. Not just co-exist with me.
I want a man who makes me feel like the world just started.
I want that kind of love.
It’s not too much too ask — it’s just too hard to find.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Sebastian Romero on Unsplash
