I Want Kindness and Understanding. When Did That Become too Much?

In reality, you’re asking for something simple. And it is simple.
It’s just… not that common anymore.

And that’s where the doubt shows up. Nothing big, just that annoying little question in the back of your mind.
Wait, am I asking for too much? Or did the standards somehow drop so low that this now feels like a lot?

Because honestly, kindness isn’t a luxury.
Understanding isn’t some extra feature you get with a better version of someone.
At least, it shouldn’t be.

These are basics like air.
It sounds ridiculous to say it out loud, because of course, the air is there.
But try without it and see how quickly everything starts to suffocate.

Maybe this is where we got it wrong.
We got used to half-measures and started calling that “realistic.”

The “he’s good, but…”
Or even better, “he’s not bad, just…”
Like, we’re constantly translating things in his favor. Trying to explain something we already feel isn’t quite right.

And then, when you say you want someone who knows how to be gentle, who doesn’t turn your emotions into a problem, who doesn’t need to be taught the basics like it’s an advanced course, it suddenly sounds like a list of demands.
Like you’re being very specific.

Like you’re asking for too much.

But you’re not. You’re asking for the minimum.
And that’s the part that stings a little, because it means you shouldn’t settle for less.

And less is often closer. Easier. Right there.
And it can be surprisingly convincing when it pretends to be enough.

So you end up with the uncomfortable question no one really likes:
Are you willing to walk away from something that is “almost enough,” just because it’s available?

Because it’s easy to tell yourself, “It’s not that important.”
That part comes quickly. We’re all good at that.

It’s harder to stay with the idea that it is.
And sit with the quiet that comes after, even when it’s not exactly comfortable.

And yes, there are people for whom this is natural.
Not something they try. Not a strategy. Not something they switch on when needed.

Just… the way they are.

The only thing is, those people are usually not the loudest ones.
They don’t sell themselves very well, to be honest.

But when you recognize them, there’s not much to question.

And you don’t find yourself wondering if you’re asking for too much anymore.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.